wow... this thread is soo coincidental. my girlfriend of a year and 8 months who i was planning on marrying etc, cheated on me a few weeks ago. she met someone at a party(she had not had anything to drink) made out with him and let him finger her in his car. i immediatly broke it off, but now i don't know what to do, because she is trying to win me back, but i feel she has to try a hell of a lot harder if she really wants me back. so i'm kinda in a rutt, i don't know what i'm supposed to do. i still have those feelings for her, but now that my hearts in peices....i just don't know. for anyone who has not yet gone through this, this is the most painful experience of my entire life...
anyone feel free to comment

 

it can happen again if you don't break it off
plus a bond is broken

let me get this straight you are talking about a married couple right not just a girlfriend?

 

See... the "not being drunk" thing is hard, because while you can't justify it, you can see the judgment impairment...

Some questions, though, and if you're not comfortable sharing this, then that's cool (You can PM me aswell if you still want some advice but wanna keep some stuff under wraps):

1) Did she tell you, or did someone else?

2) Is this the first time she's ever done something questionable?

3) Do you honestly think you could work on this, and that you can re-establish the trust that has been lost?

4) Would you be able, if this happened again, to break off EVERYTHING and never see her again?

Think about those for a bit... and if you think you would even hesitate on #4, then getting back into a relationship with her could be dangerous IMO...

 

Been there done that and it came back to bite me in the ass.

It will never happen again. If she cheats on me shes gone with no hesitation.

 

with a relationship that is the only thing i cannot stand. i will take a lot but i dont like to think of someother guy doing something with someone that i cared about. it is an istant break up.

 

you can say youre going to do this or youre going to do that, but the truth is...you dont know what youre going to do until it happens to you.

and from the other side of the perspective here....i have cheated and contrary to everyone's beliefs...it isnt all fine and dandy on this end of it! it's hell! pure hell. yes, being cheated on hurts like a bitch too, ive also been there...but being the one responsible for breaking someones heart and causing so much pain and disappointment to the people around you...that's like walking through hell. for whatever the reason may be, people make mistakes and cheating on him was the biggest mistake of my life. you can look down on me and anyone else who has cheated, but you dont know whats going on in their head and the reasoning behind it.... [/rambling]

 

So instead of talking about the problems with your significant other you just go out and cheat on them??

Not trying to flame but the reasoning you gave is pretty weak. If you don't want to be with the person or things just aren't working out then at least have the guts to say so and break it off.

Cheating on your other is just low.

 

bullshit, I don't care how close I am to a person, if they cheated on me, I don't want them in my life, because I see cheating as a lack of mutual respect to eachother as people. Now mind you, this is my own opinion based on my life alone, no one elses. If I am with someone and they are thinking about cheating, then I'd rather have them break it off with me and do their thing, but they must understand that they will have to live with their actions (i.e. maintaining any sort of relationship with me.)

My point is some people know how they'll react.

 

like i said, there's reasoning behind it that no one knows about!! i understand what ur saying, but u also dont know the whole story.


i understand and respect that.

 

and since you didn't talk to your other about the problem then he had no idea of what may have been going on that he may have been able to work on to solve the problem.

If you knew there was a problem but refused to discuss it then it shows 2 things....1. lack of trust and respect and 2. poor communication skills and self recognition skills.

OK I am done I don't want to gewt into an argument here this subject tends to piss me off pretty badly.