two womens

 

:werd:

I have a serious question for you Sean.. Let's say you get married to a virgin, and you finally embark on a sexual relationship. Years down the road, something terrible happens, and you end up divorced or widowed (god forbid). Would you stay single again for the rest of your life because it would be virtually impossible to find a woman to be with who was in your age group AND still a virgin, or would you look for a woman who was much younger than you and still a virgin, just because she was a virgin?

I really don't think it's fair for you to hold a woman's past against her. I'm not saying you should date a slut, because you never know what kind of nastiness is crawling around down there :ugh: but that's not the case for most non-virgins. Like Kim said, many, many girls get into long term relationships thinking it's going to end up lasting forever/resulting in marriage, and they enter into sexual relationships with their bfs. IMO, there is nothing wrong with sharing that intimacy with someone you genuinely care for and even (gasp!) LOVE, even if the two involved are not married.

JMHO. :dunno:

 

I think we're talking about sex outside of marriage here. I'm sure if the girl was married when she had sex, and then her husband died, he wouldn't hold it against her. That's not being "stubborn, unforgiving, jealous, and not having enough confidence." That's having values. The problem is, as time goes by, people tend to lose their values and rather than having extramarital sex be taboo, it flips to where anyone who still holds their values is "stubborn"

 

I don't like the implication that because my husband and I had sex before we were married that we are lacking in morals and values.

And just to clarify for you, extramarital sex and premarital sex are two very different issues.

 

I used "extramarital" so some smartass wouldn't say "it's not premarital sex if you don't get married" I should've just said "sex outside of marriage"
and the implication isn't that you and your husband are lacking in morals and values, it's that your morals and values are less strict than my own. Hey, by all means, have all the sex you want outside of marriage..I'm not telling anybody that they can't. But I'd like any woman that I may potentially become involved with to share my morals and values, and to say I'm "stubborn, unforgiving, jealous, and not having enough confidence" for thinking so is stubborn and closedminded.

 

If you really love someone you never fall out of love, if you do then you probably shouldn't have been with that person in the first place. I don't settle for second best in anything I do and I damn well won't do that for love. Most divorces are because people didn't get what they wanted in the first place. My parents married in 1968 went their seperate ways in 1994 but never got a divorce and since last year have tried to reconcile their difference. Did they find anyone else between then, no because they knew what true love was and realized that whatever differences they had weren't worth giving up 26 years of marriage over. Most people now a days meet, get married and then divorce all in a year. Its the wham, bam thank you ma'am philosophy. I believe in courtship and knowing someone before I do anything.

An edit... most people get married these days when they are 21-25. My mom met my dad when she was 18, they dated till my mom turned 26. They dated for 8 years, thats a good enough time to get to know a person.

 

4 the first one was when i was 17 and :drunk: wish it did not happen that way) she was 22 at the time :naughty:

 

I think it's sweet that you have such an optimistic, yet naive outlook on the way life works. Love is wonderful and magical but it doesn't fix everything.

I hope you won't end up sorely disappointed in your future romantic relationship when you see that everything isn't as ideal as you'd like to think it is. Divorce often happens because people are inherently selfish and don't think it's worth fighting for a relationship where they're not the "star" all the time. I don't know how many divorces happen because the people never loved each other -- that's impossible to say -- but I bet it's less than you think.

By the way, I think it's awesome that you are saving yourself for marriage, and for the "right" woman. I just want you (and others who share your opinion) to see that it's not always a bad thing when unmarried people engage in a sexual relationship. It may not be YOUR choice, and that's fine. But don't bash people who do make that choice. I don't feel bad at all about the fact that my husband and I had premarital sex. In your opinion, are we still lacking values for having had premarital sex even though we ended up getting married in the end? I'm not trying to insult your views, I'm just honestly curious about them.

Oh, about your statistics that you added -- the average age for marriage in this country is actually 25.7 for women and 28.3 for men. I had just turned 24 and my husband was almost 23 when we married, but we'd been together over 4 years by that point. Don't assume that everyone who gets married under the age of 25 rushes into things.

 

Actually I am far from naive... I was engaged for a month when I was 18. Lesson learnt... don't jump head first into something when you don't know squat about who you are.

 

i dont see what is so morally correct about not having sex outside of marriage. sex is not anymore sacred if your married than when you are in a loving relationship with someone you are open with and trust. and if you wont love someone because they experienced it before you met them, i believe, makes you (like previously stated) jealous and closeminded.

sex is :thumbup: and too bad you most likely will never experience it. but hey to each their own and i hope you find someone that WILL meet you rigorous expectations until then fapfapfap.