http://www.expectnothing.com/DOWNLOADS/malec.wmv

if you dont laugh at this something wrong with you

its 14mbs but its worth watching it.

 

:repost:

 

mayb he didnt see it

 

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well-cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems okay, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home, "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you alright?" They ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you pass gas."

 

dom: :chuckles:

 

its racist but w/e
how do u sink a polish battleship??













put it in water

 

here are three construction workers eating lunch on a bridge, one american guy, one italian guy, and one polish guy. The american guy opens his lunch and says "oh damn, ham and cheese again. if i get the same thing tomorrow i'll jump off the bridge". The italian guy opens his lunch and says "oh damn, meatball sandwich again. if i get the same thing tomorrow i'll jump off the bridge". The polish guy open his lunch and says "oh damn, turkey sandwich again, if i get the same thing tomorrow i'll jump off the bridge".

So the next day they're back on the bridge eating lunch, and they open they're lunch boxes again. The american guy says "oh damn, ham and cheese again" and he jumps off the bridge. The italian guy says "oh damn, meatball sandwich again" and he jumps off the bridge. The polish guy says "oh damn, turkey sandwich again" and he jumps off the bridge.

So at the funeral for the three men, their wives get together and start talking. The american's wife says "i dont' know what happened, i've been making his lunch for the past 4 years. if he had complained i would've changed it". The italian's wife says "i don't know what happened, i've been making his lunch for the past 4 years, if he had complained i would've changed it". So finally the polish guy's wife says "i dont' understand what happened either, for the past 4 years he's been making his own lunch.

 

stop with the polish jokes u small dick bastards

 

*i mean no harm in these jokes*

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?

a pizza doesnt scream when you throw it in the oven





whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza?

a large pizza can feed a family of 4







how do you stop a blonde from hanging on the tree with one hand?

wave to her






what do you get when you line 10 blondes next to each other ear-to-ear

a wind tunnel






how do you stop 5 black men from raping a girl

throw em a basketball

 

I bought new shoes!!