M@rshy

I was talking with some of my friends tonight and I started thinking of how I act when I hang out with different people. When I hang out with my friends at college, I act totally different than when I hang out with some of my friends from church or from my high school. It also occured to me, when someone says 'Just be yourself', I don't know how to act like myself. I'm not sure what I'm really like. Sometimes I try not to adapt to how they act, but then I find myself out of place and feeling weird. I guess one thing is how deep down, I'm really afraid of judgement of others. Of my friends, of my peers, of elders, so I adapt to them in order to not be judged..
Do you guys feel like you change alot going from friend to friend or group to group?

Misa

I have a different image between family, hs friends, and college friends... im not trying to act different.... but i guess everyone subconsciously does it to some extent. :dunno:

b00gers

:werd: I mean would you really act the way you do with your friends in front of your family? It is the same for different groups of friends.

M@rshy

But I do it alot. At college some of my friends act kinda homosexual with each other(Not seriously) and I find myself acting like them sometimes. Not quite to the extent they do it to. I also find myself not wanting to get two groups of friends together, for unknown reasons at the time, but later realizing I didn't want to because I was afraid of how to act around them.

RB

Thats normal dude. You can act differently in different situations and still be acting yourself. I'm similar. When I'm around my friends who are girls, I'm very laid back, and casual, playing it cool and cracking jokes. When I'm around my guy friends I'm a goofball and the "class clown" so to speak.

Trust me, its very normal.

M@rshy

I realize its normal to do it, but it kind of frightens me. I've always been envious of those people who always act like themselves, who have other people start acting like them, not vise versa. I think everything comes back to my fear of being judged. I'm honestly afraid of that.. I just realized tonight that thats probobly my biggest fear in life, on how I'm judged. I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't want to care, but I do. Thats one reason why I'm such a pansy when it comes to admitting my true feelings for people. For girls I like. And I guess why I'm always so nervous when being put on the spot, in front of a class or a group of people, at an interview, or asked a question I'm unsure of..

b00gers

:uhhok:


I only do that shit online.....





h: I know what you mean though...I have friends that I can make those sort of comments to (funny that all those friends I have met online.) Then I have friends that kinda go :ugh: when I make those comments. Then I know people that would kick my ass if I said things like that :run:

b00gers

You need a big glass of self esteem.

I use to be that way also...but I really learned not to care too much. Everyone is going to judge you...its human nature. No one is going to be perfect. And those that look down on you for stupid reasons...fuck them. Trust me when I say this...grow some balls. Confidence will go a long way in just about every aspect of life.

RB

But thats the thing, you are acting like yourself. Different circumstances, such as your relationship with others, how comfortable you are with them, and the boundries that you can and can't cross, determine how you act. Just because you act differently doesn't mean you're not "natural". In fact, its more natual to adapt your behaviors to whatever crowd you're in than to be one type of person to everbody. This is exactly why you have more than one set of friends. There are qualities of each group that you like, and they probably aren't the same qualities of these other groups. If you acted the same way to all of these groups, some of them probably wont relate to that behavior, as the qualities they like about you aren't reflected by the "universal" behavior that you are portraying.

Kind of hard to explain, reread it a few times if you don't get it.

M@rshy

I need a big glass of instant-testes... I guess what got me thinking of this is how I take forever to work up the guts to do simple things in furthering a relationship... 4 weeks to ask a girl to the prom when I knew she would say yes.. 4 weeks....

I even get nervous calling people on the phone in fear of sounding stupid....

See I act like I don't care, I say I don't care, and I try not to care but deep down, I really do. I always want to be accepted, even if I know I won't be. Thats part of the reason why I change so much and become so nervous. I've contemplated not doing things, just so I wouldn't have to be put on the line. Things that really could help me in the long run. I normally end up doing them, but I regret it. I also don't look at myself in a very good way, always putting myself down, but when someone else has the same view, it causes me to look at myself even worse, even if I know its not true.