Is there no possibility for your baby's mom and her to move to CA? or is that totally out of the picture. What if you move to CA for a while, save up some cash and then go back to Oregon? Or move to CA but somewhere closer, u have a house in fresno now right? maybe move somewhere up north more so taht ur not 1400 miles away.

 

See above and replace Washington with NorCal.

As for her moving closer...out of the question.

 

Wow.. tough call. I would lean towards your relationship with your daughter. Not just cause I'm a woman and supposadly have "motherly instincts". ( MIA, last I checked) But... as a child of divorce. My parents split when I was three... I never had much of a relationship with my father.. He moved back to Florida when I was 5. I saw him maybe 4 or 5 times since then. (if that) When I was hitting my teen years.. I had a lot of anger and bitterness towards him due, I guess, towards what I thought was a lack of him caring.
:dunno: though... if you fall financially, it may also hinder a relationship with your daughter. :dunno:

 

I know what you mean and I had the same prob with my father who only lived about 100 miles away.

This is whats really bugging me because I don't want to be like him at all...but the situation is kind of forcing me to have to look at moving soon

 

How likely is it that you can pull lowpaying jobs in Oregon to stay with your daughter until the economy there picks up? How often do you get to see your daughter now? How often do you think you'll be able to see her if you move down to CA?

 

try to find some sort of part-time work in OR:dunno:

iirc, you work at home on your own schedule currently. somebody has to be hiring....
do you have any experience with home repair? computers? retailing? machining? manual labor? anything?

 

This may sound like a messed up thing to point out so dun flame on me john, but trying to spend time with your daughter while you are running yourself into the poorhouse is not the best option in itself.

 

I dunno..that is a really tough decision. Is there maybe somewhere closer that would fit your economic needs? Do what you can to stay with your daughter. My Dad lived in California and I lived in Florida, only seeing him 4 or 5 weeks out of the year. I'd come back from each visit almost hysterical because even though we weren't close physically, we were close emotionally. I finally ran away from my moms house at 13 to live with my dad, feeling horrific guilt for making my mom sad (sorry so long winded, just trying to give you a a kid's point of view).

 

What if you keep renting the CA house and move into a cheap apartment? If I were you, I would do anything to be with a daughter until she grows a little older. Even if that meant working at a low paying job, eating ramen for every meal, and moving into a studio apartment. That's just my opinion though. Good luck on your decision. I know it must be really hard.

 

I think your only answer is to stay by your daughter. I would try to get the cheapest nearest place to live and spend have of your time with and spend the other half actively seeking the highest paid job you can find.