I know no one probably cares but I figured I need to ask someone neutral.

I live in Oregon right now and I live here only because my daughter is here with her mother. I have been out of work for a while and have been having a hell of a time even getting interviews because no one is hiring and I haven't been actively seeking. I own a house in California that is paid for and is being rented out but it really doesn't go for a whole lot because of the economy and all. So I am renting here in Oregon.

Things are starting to pile up on me and it is really getting me down lately. I don't like it much here at all but I stay because of my daughter. I have been wanting to move really badly over the last year or so but if I move to Cali. it means I won't see my daughter as much which will bother me a lot.

I have thought of selling the house in California and buying a house here but I really can't because the market is so depressed all over. So I am trying to figure out what to do.

My options are to move back into the house in California and have better opportunities for work and lower cost of living on a month to month basis thus leaving me 1200 miles from my daughter (one solid day driving for me). I have thought a bout this and we coud communicate through webcast and phone but it still isn't the same really.

The other option is stay here where my daughter is and run myself into the poor house steadily but maintaining a close relationship with my daughter (she is soon to be 6 btw).

I am really confused what to do and its realy bugging me because I don't see too many ways out of it.

 

i thought you had two young ones. but will it really be that bad of a decision to sell the house in cali and buy something smaller in oregon? i dont know too much about you, but you seem to be a family guy...and same with me. i would want to be near my daughter.

what is stopping you from seeking a job? what about "low end" jobs? they dont pay jackshit...but its *something.

 

John... can't you work a deal with your ex where your daughter stays with you part of the year and with her the other part. You are a very talented person and it would be quite sad to see you let opportunities pass by. I would suggest contacting a lawyer and see if they can help you work a deal with the ex so you can have custody of your daughter for half the year and she can have her the other half.

Keep your chin up...

 

now think of the daughter...its quite a life to have half in one place and another half in another.

 

Most schools have a 3 month summer break and a month long winter break. Maybe the lil one would enjoy spending the summers and winters in California.

What about nearby states... have you thought of moving there instead of something so drastic.

 

That's a tough one John. My step dad, who has 3 kids that live near the canadian border, has a similar situation. What he does is he has them either take the train or take the plane. Southwest airlines is relatively cheap, and really easy to arrange. I don't know if this is an option to you, but I honestly believe maintaining a relationship with your daughter is essential for not only her sake, but for yours as well.

 

What about doing photography? I know a few companies will let you work from home. Make a portfolio and send it in to some companies and see if they will hire you. You have a lot of artistic talent, do a few shows with your artwork and see if people are interested.

 

CA is a nearby state.

 

I know... so is Washington... just saying California might not be the only option.

 

For my financial situation Ca is the only other option as Washington has an economy very similiar to Oregon and I would again be renting up there...besides I hate Washington more than I do Oregon.