Sorry this is kind of long if you don't want to read it then move on.

Anyways today my friend calls me and she said that she needs to talk because she's really depressed. So I go meet up with her, yes she's a she. And yes she's just a friend. Well she and I have known each other for at least a year and she's always telling me about this boyfriend that she has, how attatched she is to him and loves him, however she everytime she is with him she feels really sad and depressed and just not happy. She also tells me that when they get into fights he always yells at her and cusses at her and she threatens to leave but then her b/f just drops the whole subject and says ok ok and just moves on. She then tells me how insecure he is about her and how insecure she is sometimes not all of the time toward him, she feels that she can trust him sometimes and not all the time and needs to check on him often. And he it sounds like just wants his space and doesn't want anything to do with her. Sometimes he threatens her verbally. I feel as though one day he's going to really hurt her physically and mentally. And there relationship is kind of off and on. Constantly. When she told me she got back together with this guy I couldn't believe it with all of the shiit he's put her through, making her cry and making her feel insecure about her self and not comforting her when she needs to be. Well what I"m asking is this, she wants to get over him and is still going out with him, which I don't understand. And I want her to get over him because I don't want anything to happen to her because she's a really good person to talk to and be with.




Is there any ways for someone to get over someone for good? They've been going out I believe since she was 19 and she's 21 now. Give me some good advice that I can give to her please. This thread isn't about me it's about her so all you smart asses can kiss my ass. And for those that help out thank you.

 

Best advice I can say is she needs to get out of that relationship for good because it is a mutually abusive relationship.

As for getting over him......."Time heals all wounds"

 

Yeah I told her that to that it may not get abusive now or soon but eventually something is going to make him snap and she's going to get really hurt. She doesn't want to leave him though because everytime she tries and goes out with someone else she always pictures him and he gets in the way of having another chance for her going out with someone else because he is always on her mind. All of her friends and me have told her the same thing and told her to kick this guy to the curb because he's bad news but it's up to her to make the choice. She seemed so sad it made me pissed because a b/f or g/f or whoever isn't suppose to make someone feel that way.

 

If she meets another guy, she'll get over him. One that treats her with respect, treats her the way a woman should be treated. But she definitely needs to make the first step of getting out of that relationship, otherwise it's just going to get worse.

Other than that, time and alcohol cure it :bigok:

 

:rofl: I told her I'd get her f[u]cked up if she wanted to but she works monday through saturday. She told me she's met other guys but whenever she goes out with them she always thinks of her b/f or whatever you want to call it. I told her she needs to get over him, she's just stubborn and she's going to get hurt and one day god for bid she might get hurt and nobody might not be there for her. I don't know I just worry about her a lot, because we can always talk and share our feelings and help each other out when needed.

 

Anything I can do or say to comfort her more so she's not so depressed?

 

My advice: Don't get involved. If you want to listen to her complain, knock yourself out. But don't try to "save her"! Never, ever get involved in others' domestic situations, it's always a trap.

The sad truth is that girls who stay in abusive relationships have problems of their own that make them keep going back. They need professional help, not comforting. Getting yourself sucked into an unhealthy relationship doesn't help anyone.

 

I know it's easy for you to say not to get involved in something like this, but it sucks to see one of your friends get hurt over and over again over some asshole. And as for relationship I don't know if you mean b/f g/f type or just friend, cuz that's all she is to me is a good friend. And we can always like I said count on each other to talk to each other.

 

Easy? I wrote that because I learned it the hard way. You can take my advice, or learn it the hard way yourself.

If you really want to be a friend, direct her towards professional counseling.

 

I see what your saying, I've seen a couple of my other friends go through the same thing and they usually end up hurting themselves and it sucks to see it happen, there's only so much I can do for them.