I once blacked out while taking a piss, and peed on my best friend's girlfriend.

 

My friends also have some good ones:

Buddy puked off the second story balcony of a club directly onto a cab driver. Cab driver wanted to come up and kick his ass, but he didn't have enough cash for cover.

I was walking around my friend's neighborhood at night, another friend (not the one who lived there) argued with me as to which way was the right way home. We disagreed, and he went the way he thought was right. He came to (probably 6 hours later) in someone's back yard in the next town over... in order to get there, he must have crossed A) several neighborhoods B) Major 4-lane highway (no overpasses) C) open farm land. We were seriously like a block from the house when we parted ways.

Friend walked into my other friend's bedroom, sat down on the corner of his bed and took a piss (sitting down with his pants still on)

I also have a friend who sleepwalks (drunk or not, but usually worse when drunk) and he frequently pisses in the kitchen sink, talks to people, wanders around the neighborhood in his underwear, etc. He once climbed into bed with his parents (we were like 17 at the time).

 

God, I don't even want to start with this shit.

My recent experience was in Vegas at Tao Beach in the Venetian. For those who don't know, it's a pool party with a bunch of wonderful scattered ass everywhere you look. My friend was DJing there, before he came I already had four greygoose/cranberries in me. He comes along, I'm chillin in the DJ booth then apparently this smokin brunette comes in and asks to play some MJ (since he died that weekend). I'm shooting the shit with her then someone tells me apparently it's "Jessica from 90210". Two more vodka/cranberries then my friend gives me a sheet of drink tickets....the Patron started to flow and it was getting realllll bad. Next thing I know I wake up in the Venetian suite on the couch marinating in my own vomit. It was 26 stories up and I have no idea how I got into my room with my wallet/phone/key intact. I had to call housekeeping and have the homeboy clean the couch while I was giggling in the corner

 

grabbed every single girl's ass that I saw in the street and got the cops called on me.

tried to run a train on my college roomates girlfriend but her best friend cock blocked all night

got my girl pregnant because I was to drunk to pull out




my baby girl is one month old now by the way.....

 

Damn lol

 

Once woke up on the couch not knowing where I was. Turned out I was at some chicks place my bud was fucking. Me and him had to walk back at the bar with only sweaters on and it was -40 out.

Once pissed in the corner of a club

Once pissed in the ice machine at a club

Some bar had specials on pitchers of doubble rhum and coke. Drank too many and puked the avocado I ate for dinner. Puked all over myself... At first it kinda felt good... The relief with the soothing warmth. Then it got cold and stank. Thank god my parents have a big house with 4 spare rooms. Puked in 2 of them

1 time I got drunk and slept for luke 36 hours straight.



OT puked out avocado looks exacly like shit. Brown and soft as fuck and stinks like it too.

 

:rofl:

chris i need to party with you sometime ... you do it up hardcore

 

Lol, same guy who wandered to the next town also pissed on the curtain at the theater during King Kong then proceeded to call my gf a whore and call the dinosaurs in the movie "Bihootersclops." :rofl:

 

ok i remembered some that happened.

1st was in high school. i got uber drunk. i was crawling up and down stairs on all 4's because i was afraid of falling. my friend lost his umass hat in the backyard of this party. its pitch black back there. so i get on all 4's in the dark looking for this cause i could barely stand. i find a notre dame hat after about 2 minutes of looking. i crawl back downstairs and give my friend his hat telling him i found a notre dame hat. he is like its all good. so around 11 his parents pick us up. had to be the coolest parents, they didn't want us driving drunk so they would give us rides to and from party. we get to his house and i collapsed on the living room floor. i wake up the next morning with a umass hat staring me in the face. apparently i found the umass hat, it wasn't notre dame.

2nd one was in philly 2 years ago where i almost died that night. a group of us head out to south street after a little pre game. we went to this karaoke bar where i proceeded to get sloshed and i sung in a karaoke contest and won but didnt stick around for prize. then we were leaving and i started to mac it to this fat chick. i ended up making out with her. then we scorned south street for steak and cheese. went to this one place had this spicy shit took two bites and then left. hopped in the car with a driver who was well over the legal limit. then he drove around, don't know where. went to this house and came back all happy. went to this after hours club and i was hitting on this figure skating teacher. we were dancing then around 3am we bounced. on the way home the guy was blowing every single stop sign and red light, going about 60 in a 30. he stopped at two and those had cops at them. we got back to this guys house and the one dude who was driving was talking about how he bought cocaine and couldn't wait to get home to do some. while the guy who owns the house is flipping out about the house across the street got raided last week and how he has a cop living next door. needless to say we woke up at 6am still drunk/hung over and drove down to Tampa and made it there at 1:30am.

 

I asked my friend what else I did that night when I was trying to rap Wu-Tang...

I apparently danced with a fat chick (maybe deep down inside I dig them).

I also called up a friend and called him a pedophile.