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get him a network card, or get another line. Respect your elders bish!
If I am giving him free rent and food... plus a place for him to leave his kids at while he is out fishing or busy getting action, that's more than enough. As far as respect goes... when he was married, the only time I saw him and his family was when he needed me to fix something so that he wouldn't have to pay someone to do the job. I'm not say he can't use his system to dial-in, just respect me and the wife enough to only spend an hour or two on it and not the whole afternoon... plus evening. You know, either me or the wife cooks his meals, the decent thing he could do is wash them when he's done eating. He never eats a meal with us. He'll wait until we are done at times and as soon as we are done washing our dishes, 10 mins later, he's eating and then leaves the dishes there for us to wash.
How long has it been. Talk to your uncle about the phone situation.
I've mentioned it a few times and so did the wife. Family members would stop by and asked why we haven't been answering our phone lately. See, if he's online and we get a call, it would go into voice mail and if voice mail is full, it would just ring. It's been going on for about 5 months now, I had to disconnect long distance because for over 3 months, our phone bills would be close to $500. Most of our family members/friends are close by so we can do without the long distance calling; plus we have cell phones that we can use at peek hours. A second line is not an option, it's not a need for us to have one, plus, why should we provide more to accommodate the uncle if he is getting a free ride as is?
Password protect your computer. Set some ground rules and give him an ultimatum.
I had to restrict my machine so that he could install his questionable programs. Really, I don't mind him using my system but he has now gone and setup his system in my family room and parks his bottom there each night.
See, the point here is that I have "high speed internet" and I am offering him to connect on so that we can use our phone line... but the fellow just will not spend the $$$ to get it since he has already paid for his dial-up for the next year and a half.