Okay, and now we're back up to the point a bit earlier in the thread about how there are consequences other than beatings.

You know how little kids always ask, "why?"

Well, at least when they're not just trying to annoy you, they actually do want an explanation.

Do you want that explanation to be "because I'm gonna kick your ass," or do you want to explain why something is right and wrong. It's more than "it just is."

For example,

"Johnny, don't hit your sister."

"Why?"

"Because you could hurt her. Do you want to hurt your sister?"

Unless the kid is totally evil, he ain't gonna say yes.

But hey, if you can't come up with anything other than hitting the kid yourself, then be my guest. If you think what I said just plain won't work, okay. That's your opinion.

 

Even a rat can figure it out.
Do this = pain = don't do that again.

 

you're greatly underestimating the intelligence of children.

 

No, I think HE is. If either of you would read, the last part was hypothetical.

 

I'm from the old school, I was taught and teach the saying "Your's is not to question why, yours is but to do or die"......I don't actually say that to my children, but they know that when I say to do something, do not question me, just do what I say. If I feel like explaining why I want you to go clean your room then I'll offer, but if I don't, keep it movin'!

 

You make it seem like I said that beating is the only way, and the first solution I'd go for. I'd definitely try something without violence first. but what I'm saying is that shit doesn't always work. I have personally seen that same scenario (more than once, I might add) where the kid says "No", and then turns around a slaps his sister again anyway.

 

In my dealings with kids I've always tried to make myself open to whatever questions they might have, within reason. I have always tried to conduct myself in a manner such that if a kid asks me why about something, I can in fact explain it.

I find that if a kid thinks they can talk to me on level where I'm not dictating to them, they listen just because there's a mutual understanding there.

 

Obviously I read it or I would not have responded, duh.

I interpreted your comment as being a question(the first part) and then a statement(the last part), I was responding to the last part.

When I spank, I don't just whip that azz and walk away and just expect them to figure it out on thier own. Hell, I explain it to them as I'm tappin', "Don't*smack* you*smack* ever*smack*call*smack*your*smack*mother*smack*.... ....you get the point.

 

well when you become a father, you do that. In my house, what I say goes, period. There is no questioning my authority. Now if we're doing something like fixing my car, and he asks a question, that's the time to explain. But if I tell my son to go clean his room, and he turns and asks me why, I ain't having it and he better make sure he's not within arms reach or I'd..........give him a hug and calmly tell him how much his mother and I would appreciate it if he could do that for us so we don't hurt ourselves when we go in to tuck him into bed at night:barf: Yeah right! That's some ol' Leave it to Beaver type stuff

 

lol my mom used to tell me to clean my room or my stuff would end up on the front lawn.

And sure enough I didn't clean it and they ended up out there so I would ahve to pick it up. The neighbors thought it was the smartest idea in the world. Guess what...I never had a messy room again.