- Some times I wonder if I am really a part of my family since I share almost nothing in common with them. Everything I find intellectually provoking and worthwhile seems boring to them.

- I wish I wasn't in a $20k debt at 22 years of age. Its not my fault that some people took the money my parents left for college and spent it on what they wanted leaving me with not a single nice thing.

- Some times I wonder why other people who have done everything wrong, have the most f*cked up attitude and personality have everything while poor me has nothing.

 

i took that Paxil shit! i was on it for 2 days and i thought i was going to puke to death..litterly. i thought i was going to rupture something from throwing up so much. the room was constantly spinning and i felt like i had a 10ton block just chillin on my head...i took myself off of it..i couldnt handle that shit.. there was no way i was going to "Deal" with it until my body got used to it..i was treated stickly with therapy, and now im on an "as needed" basis with my therapist...h:

 

:werd: that's what i was sayin.

 

I'm on it, it works for me.

 

Um... an adult should have 32 teeth.. not 24...

 

1) I have two steel rods in my back.
2) I speak/read/write Japanese
3) I've only had my licence since December and I've had about 4 different cars since.

Overall, Im not interesting

edit;

4) My dream car is an Integra.
5) I was adopted. Im the oldest of 11 kids.
6) I date FourthGenHatch (wow big suprise there huh?)
7) I was thrown out of private school for being different.
8) Being different has been the best thing I've ever done, it seems.
9) I love anything cute and pink. Like Hello Kitty.
10) Im still not that interesting.

 

i guess everyone is different...but it scared the shit out of me...i haven seen any good reviews about it either, and its fairly new...:ugh:

 

i regret parking my practically new '00 CBR600F4 in the mall parking lot that one sunny day. otherwise, it wouldn't have been run over and dragged by some asshole in a truck

 

1. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old, the only memories I have of them together are of them screaming at each other, my earliest memory is my Dad screaming at me to "shut up!" when I was like 2 years old or younger (and I must have been that old cuz we moved out of my first house when I was 2 and that was the only place they lived together at when I was alive), though I don't hold it against him or anything. Because of this I grew up not understanding what a real family is like and to this day I don't really understand what it is like. My Mom and Dad still hate each other 20 years later so my understanding of male/female relationships was sort of screwed up, though I think I overcame that after breaking up with my 1st serious girlfriend.

2. Because my family life was messed up as a child I was extremely unaffectionate. I hated people touching me and I never hugged anyone or anything like that. At times I have been said to be "devoid of emotion", my Mom (who is crazy pretty much) would constantly tell me that I didn't love her, and even today people joke of me "not having feelings" because my only defense as a kid was just being cold to people to make them leave me alone. However the flip side of this is since I have so much pent up need to be affectionate whenever I have a girlfriend I feel the need to hug them or kiss them or hold them constantly, even though they will find it annoying at times I just gotta do it.

3. The 2nd experience I had of male/female relationships was when my Mom met my Step Dad. She said she would do whatever was in our best interest, we (my brother and I) never liked him and told her to stop seeing him. She said she couldn't and then married him. He was very cruel to my brother and I and not often, but at times would slam me against a wall (I was like 8 at the time and this guy was an amateur body builder so he was SIGNIFICANTLY larger and stronger than I was) when I couldn't do some things like math or something which wasn't my fault. He would take all his anger out on my brother and I, mostly me since I was older. I eventually got sick of it and moved out with my Dad and my brother came soon after. Without us to take out is anger on my Mom soon realized how big of an ass he was and divorced him. But my relationship with my Mom has suffered ever since and I didn't talk to her for a very long time.

4. One specific incident I was a kid and my brother and I were playing outside. We met these 3 older kids who asked us to come to these bushes and play with them (no not in a sexual way). Well once we were behind the bushes they knocked us down and started beating us up. Then they stopped and said they were joking. One reached his arm up to help me up and I grabbed it and half way up he slammed me back down on the ground. My Dad found us and got them away from us. From that day I have found it very very hard to trust anyone I don't know, also made me not like meeting new people.

5. When I moved in with my Dad I went to a private school for 9th grade. I wasn't from a wealthy family so compared to the rest of these kids I was poor. I didn't fit in because I didn't like sports or any of this "team" everyone together, or catholic bullshit. I had a core group of friends before I moved but after that I never really had many friends. To this day I have one real friend who I must say I am even drifting apart from him now due to his doing a lot of alcohol and drugs now. I have never been interested in trying to meet a lot of new people after that and I have a hard time trusting people.

6. My first real girlfriend I had I met at my work. She was single at the time but we started messing around. Then she went out with another guy while we were still messing around the whole time. She called me her best friend but I couldn't understand why she didn't want to be with me and instead of this other guy but still messed around with me. But I was a horny virgin boy so I kept doing it. Eventually she dumped the guy because he told her he was just using her. Then I went out with her and she cheated on me. I forgave her and we went out again. Then she told me she was moving to Florida and that put a death sentence on the relationship though she had no plans to break up with me when she moved. But I finally saw she was a crazy ass bitch and broke up with her when she moved. She blamed me. Since that time I have been very careful about dating and don't try it much. I also will say what she did and what my Mom has done to me almost makes me hate women (or a lot of them for that matter). My Dad is the same way almost, though I'm not sure why.

7. Not as interesting but I got my car in November of 2001. Before that I had no real idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I soon became obsessed with working on my car and now I have plans on becoming a mechanic and start auto school in September. So my Honda is very special to me for that reason as it got me started it that. Its almost like a very good friend to me, one that I can understand more than most people.

8. My current girlfriend, Lauren, aka yukitenshi on this board. Her family sucks, she had a shitty childhood, yet she remains positive somehow and that gives me strength because I know nothing that ever happened to me was as bad as happen to her so I almost look up to her for that, and vice versa I think.

 

13.- Im addicted to cigarettes
14.- i was addicted to painkillers for a while.....im still getting over that
15.- all the money i make this summer is going to pay off my lawyer...if im not in a detention center at the end of all this
16.- and as every day goes by im becomming more suicidal...im thinking about it ALL the time...but as stated above i dont have the balls