This thread delivers the funny but fails at life.

 

Just follow the directions on the box. Make white and brown gravy, don't be hard headed! As for the turkey, follow directions on the bird wrap. Use a baster and suck & squirt every half hour or so. Use some butter to help add good flavor. Remember -

Covered = moist heat.
Open = Dry heat (to brown outside)
Be prepared with Wine, Beer, or some form of Alcohol

If you both fails at teh turkey's day, tell your wife you love her and agree that you'll learn to cook!

 

buy a fried or baked turkey from your nearest grocery, pick up some french bread, throw together some mashed potatoes and get some of that ready mix stuffing. insta-thanksgiving

 

Sounds like a McDonald's Thanksgiving.

 

Set the mood before the table, and it won't matter what you're eating.

 

ok I found a cook book we got for a wedding present and never used it, cracked it open and found turkey instructions, we're 3 hours into the turkey in the over and all is well...except for the fact she forgot to take the neck bone out but thankfully after I started basting the damn thing I saw a white bag sticking out so we're good now...we'll see how the bird tastes in a couple hours

 

turkey wasn't bad, little dry, stuffing was too moist but fuck it, I just filled up on bread and potato's haha

 

Yay, a crisis was diverted.

 

Well hope all went well yesterday...now you just have think about becoming the host for all family Thanksgiving dinners. We rotate the holidays, we do thanksgiving, my wife's sister does Christmas, her mother does birthdays, her brother does stuff like Mother's day and Father's Day. My family is in Arizona, to far for holiday weekends, and I'm not too attached to them any longer.