I wouldn't go appologizing for that. I know that money doesn't make the relationship, but I bet your income has funded a few nice outtings / moments / gifts.

There's only so much both of you can do, but the second you get on the same point in life, you'll be fine. It's just a matter of getting synched up socially.

You know it, I know it ... college life is temporary, that isn't the way 99% of America functions. If people in college don't get with the program, they either:

a) stay in school for 7 years
b) drop out of college and sell shoes
c) graduate in something lame and end up selling shoes



Where do you want to be?

 

i know but when you were 22/23 werent you out all the time and partying and waking up at like noon & skip classes and then exam time comes and you need to study till 3 am to get your shit right? I am sure you did and honestly look at were we are now it's not like we failed...

it's just hard to try to explain to her that if she wants to spend time with me the best way is for her wake up with me, go to shcool study during the day so that in the evening we can have fun shit even drink abit till 10, 11 then go to bed. and really i understand her but i cant do the opposit it impossible for me to do it... and she understands it's just... ahhhhh! i dont know!

 

theres a lot goin on w/ my life outside of a relationship that is taking up a lot of my time and efforts, and im thinkin that at 22 yrs old, this is where im gonna have the most energy to get my goals accomplished. i really dont want that to sound selfish, but its like trying to get a bike moving. you need a good start that requires a lot of initial push to get some steady momentum, and ive been thinking that i need some time being independent for the next few years to secure the rest of my life as best as i can. i always feel like im spread too thin and that im not doing things to the best of my ability, my relationship included. so then i feel like im cheating her out of what she deserves.


...did that make any sense?

 

to get a bike moving it's sometime easier to have a friend help you with the initial push... I know what you mean tho.

 

that's one thing I stressed to my girlfriend ... don't treat school as school, treat it as a job. Don't study just to get by, study because you take pride in what you're doing.

She'll put effort and dedication in everything around her at times (social functions, sorority work, etc) ... I'd like to see the same amount of passion put into things that actually matter, the thing that she's there for.

Facts:
Life goes on after college. What you do now has a direct impact on what you do when you graduate.

Strive to do your best, get a 3.0+, create a great resume, and charm your way into a job ... and you post on HAN and get paid for it.

Spend time on things that don't improve your education / gpa (groups, clubs, activites, parties, etc), get a sub 3.0, create a great resume ... it won't matter. Interviewers won't even consider your application. You've shown you can't learn at an average level.

The ability to make 60K per yer, $1,200 a week is now ... you'll ruin your entire earning potential by boozing up ... you'll ruin your future for an extra night out ... you'll ruin your entire future on people and groups that won't be there for you when you fall.

 

The wisdom is strong in this thread. I had already been married 1 year when I turned 22. :noes: Now I feel so old. :sad:

 

But she lets you collect TF's

 

You need to find a balance in everything you do. I think that's what you're struggling with. I wouldn't say it's a time management thing, because i'm sure you're working at your maximum potential ... it's more of an effort management issue.

Seriously, make a list of things you consider "your life" ... look at the list and distribute time used on individual pieces. Try to visually see if you're spending too much time in one area. Adjust as needed. If you can somehow find a balance among everything, you'll be fine.

You might even find things you can remove, before you chop off the relationship.


With the relationship, you need to find out if your girlfriend even likes your "bike". It's one thing to get the bike moving, it's another to find help pushing it or remove the force slowing things down.

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I'd bring this up to her first, see what she says. Ask her, "are you getting everything you need out of this relationship?"

 

yeah Andrew has lots of wisdom! oh great Andrew! what should i do...

 

are you saying you did touch them when they were 13:thinking: