i have to ask this... i can't believe some parents.. my best friend amber's mother told her that she couldn't come home after school.. just because her boyfriend doesn't like amber.. so amber had no where to go.. my family took her in.. her mom just turned her back on her.. yes amber had issues especially as a teenager.. but she got her GED and now is in college and bettering herself.. her mom has so many issues and a history of substance abuse.. the song with eminem about his mom and the chorus goes 'i'm sorry mama.. i never meant to hurt you... i never meant to make you cry but tonight i'm cleaning out my closet" that song scared me b/c it reminded me exactly about amber's mom...

she's not the only one with messed up parents.. my sister's friend nicole suffers from biopolarism.. she's scary if she doesn't take her meds.. well.. her mother couldn't handle it anymore.. but her mother had substance issues so i was happy to hear her go with her father.. now i find out her father is a coke head and left nicole at a bus stop a few weeks ago.. my sister called me to ask me if it was okay for nicole to sleep in my room until something gets straightened out...

i could probably tell you of a few more people i've met while being an RA whose parents have abandoned them... sometimes their parents have substance abuse problems.. sometimes not.. and sometime i have no idea how a parent could turn their back on their child...

am i the only one seeing a bad pattern with parents? i feel so bad for my friends who go through this and thank God that my parents are nice people and trying to give them a stable home even if it's just for school breaks.. my family has their own messed up issues.. but they're all behind closed doors..
i can't live at home anymore.. the value system is just too messed up.. but atleast my parents won't turn their back on me..

i just wish i knew how parents end up like this...

thoughts?comments?helpful advice?

 

It does suck for a kid whose parents are very "parental." It makes then grow up way too quickly and puts a ton of pressure on them. They also fail to give them the attention they need or deserve, so the kids will go else where to find it...drugs...sex...suicdide even.

My mom is my best friend. She's been my best friend since I can remember. Maybe I'm just very lucky to have a relationship w/my mom like this. I don't know.

My advice would be just keep an eye out for your friends. If they are a good friend stand strong by her side and hopefully she won't abuse your relationship.

 

i see alot of problems with substance abusers...
theyre not only hurting themselves...but their families also suffer...
ive been a user myself...but i still dont ever understand how/why some could just abondone their kids n live selfishly like that...
lets just pray that itll b better for the next generations...

 

typical situation.

seen it before. Sucks, too.

I feel sorry for the next generation. I really do.

 

When my son was six years old, he asked me why I went outside to smoke with the people at a party I had. The people were my staff and we went outside to smoke dope. That was the last time I smoked pot. I figured if my son was asking it was time to quit, but I did explain it to him. I never exposed him directly to smoke always going outside from the time he was born to the day I quit.

We ran into problems with the schools with him, and fought the teachers (he was diagnosed hyperactive with attention deficit disorder, and was dyslexic). Some teachers because there were no outward signs of a disability refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him. Well we, and he fought his way through school and he managed to graduate when he was supposed to, with the rest of his friends. He still can't focus on one thing for very long (except video games) and hasn't been able to do anything further in school. We keep telling him to get his ass in the community college and take photography classes, he's a natural, loves automotive photography, only want him to get a better grasp on what he can do. He's 23 and it's like talking to a brick wall, no actually the wall listens to me.

 

My mother was a terrible mother, and its taken me 4 years of theraphy to say that. She is manipulative, careless, and selfish.

Growing up i was her pawn, I got treated like sh*t, i got to see the tail end of her relationships with her boyfriends. She fought with me on everything, "mom can i go outside to play?" - "NO"

No wonder i have anxiety so bad? She always yelled at me, hit me, beat me, and made me feel less of a person. She didn't do drugs, she was straight edge. She's just making up for her childhood, since it was so terrible. She let me wither away and almost die of tonsilitis. Sounds bizare? She never took me to the doctor, it got so bad my white blood count would be 3 - 4 times the normal amount. I'd be sick for weeks. My father finally got so sick of her crap, and took me to a doctor. My 1 1/2 tonsils were removed when i was almost 17. Yeah, 1 1/2, bacteria from the infection had eaten away at my throat, they also had to cut out small portions that were just infected beyond healing.

When i stabbed myself in the eye with a knife, she yelled at me, called me careless, and stupid. She told me i was too expensive. 5 days in a hospital at 13 years old - she only saw me an hour every day. My father stayed day and night.

My curfew until the day i moved out when i was 17 - was 6pm. No ands if or but's about it. Not home by 6? I could get things thrown at me, we've fist fought, and she's actually held me against a wall by my throat. She's tried to strangle me to death when i was arrested for stealing in K-mart ( i was 12 years old, just a stupid kid)

I love my father, and we have the best relationship. I've told him everything, including about my drug addiction, because my mother was too blind and into her "soap opera" to care.

I did drugs to escape from her, i stopped doing drugs because i finally got away.