Joke time
A MONKEY SITTING IN A TREE
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a
lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard,
"What's the matter with you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"
The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK, DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a
lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard,
"What's the matter with you?!"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!"
The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK, DUDE....... how much water did you drink?"
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"I'll keep my money, guns and freedom. You can keep the "Change."
"I'll keep my money, guns and freedom. You can keep the "Change."
:rofl::rofl:
That was rad :rofl:
That was rad :rofl:
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2015 Ford Mustang GT Fastback - Ingot Silver - 6M - Performance Package - Gibson Catback, JLT CAI, FR 47lb injectors, BAMA E85 tune, Eibach Sportline, BMR wheel hop kit, UPR oil separator, Steeda shifter bushing/bracket
Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
2015 Ford Mustang GT Fastback - Ingot Silver - 6M - Performance Package - Gibson Catback, JLT CAI, FR 47lb injectors, BAMA E85 tune, Eibach Sportline, BMR wheel hop kit, UPR oil separator, Steeda shifter bushing/bracket
Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
A young woman visits the doctor for a breast examination. When he sees her he is surprised to see an ‘O’-shaped mark on her chest. ‘Oh’, she explains. ‘That’s from my boyfriend’s Oxford University jumper. He likes to wear it when we have sex and the crest rubs against my skin.’ A couple of weeks later, another girl is in for a breast examination. She whips her top off, and there is a ‘C’ in the middle of her chest. The doctor raises an eyebrow while the girl explains that her lover likes to wear his Cambridge University jumper during sex. Weeks later, a third girl comes in for an examination and she has a ‘W’ on her chest. ‘Ah!’ cries the doctor. ‘Let me guess, you have a boyfriend at Warwick?’ ‘No,‘ smiles the girl. ‘I’ve got a girlfriend at Manchester.
:chuckles: Nice one, John...
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