well for me, I toughed it out in school, even though I didn't think I would end up going into the field I majored in cause I was so sick of it. Well, now after school and working shitty temp jobs, I realize how great that job would be. Maybe it's the time away from it that makes me like it again. Now I'm glad I have the degree and am motivated to find a job in that field, if one exists somewhere. However, I am still broke.

Maybe you need time away from school, although I recommend toughing it out cause you'll probably be glad you did in the end, like me.

 

Thanks guys!
I think im gonna try to goto sleep, its 3:06am
I hope i just wake up from this bad dream!

 

do whatever the **** you feel like doing
life is too short to worry about shit and dwell on shit
you only live once. **** it

 

you sound a lot like me about 4 years ago. i was way out of shape (the fattest i've ever been), i wanted to drop out of college, and i was having insecurity issues with my gf at the time. i couldnt trust her either, even though she NEVER did anything to question my judgement. it was all in my head. eventually i realized that i didnt really love her.

i think you "controlled" her because of your insecurity. perhaps you felt that if she lived the way you wanted her to, she wouldnt stray away or something. you'll learn that if you really love someone, you wont have feelings of jealousy, distrust, or insecurity. and most importantly, get that confidence up...you gotta love yourself before loving someone else.

 

oh man that was me 2 years ago.... i was so convinced she was up to something i made this ellaborate plan to make her dump me... and it worked it BLEW for about 3 months... then i was like "was i really happy with her?" no. now i am happy as hell... best thing you can do is have a real heart to heart with her none of this "lets be together forever" bullshit.

do a diagnostic on what worked and what didn't maybe telling her why you cheated and why you think she woudl get back to you would help? basically waht you are doing with us is what you shoudl do with her. best thing to do is make sure if its done its done and you can work it out on your own or if its gonna try to work then you can try and make it work. this playing both sides will only make it suck more.

and for getting rid of the pissed off feelings may i suggest weight lifting or paintball or something where you can break things/throw shit around and its ok. good luck

 

dude, i think everybody feels that way once in awhile...life just loses it's joy/fun...When I feel like this, I try to surround myself with the good things in life, i.e FRIENDS...I know u gotta at least have one good, true friend...when u feel this way, go to him/her and tell them how you feel. If they're a true friend, they will listen to you and help you cope! stay strong man!

 

ummm get over it and go have fun? :dunno:

but if you don't want to change then don't change, of course change would probably a good thing. Judging by what you wrote.

 

exactly, while you might suffer now, u shall gain later. Getting together wit friends is a good idea, laugh a bit, have some fun.

 

Man its crazy how many people (including myself) can relate to you flappy... I have a hard time trusting my g/f 100% as well. Although...she has done a few things behind my back, insignificant they may be. (I've caught her smoking behind my back on like 4 occassions). The reason I think I can't trust her 100% is because I know what she was like b4 me...her friends, her lifestyle, really bad things I've heard and some were found to be true....but in reality. She has changed after she met me, she's not the same and I really have no reason not to trust her.

We've gotten in many big fights over the trust issue as well as my insecurity issue, and I always make it a point to talk to her about it. And I've been trying really hard to change my ways...it is hard to change the way you are and sometimes just let her do wahtever she wants and do it her own way, but once you do it for the first time, it gets easier and easier afterwards.

Chances are you're g/f does really love you, four years is a long time and you shouldn't let it go to waste. Give her a few days, then really try to get to her and talk to her. Like someone said...talk to her like you're talking to us. Tell her you realize you have some trust and insecurity issues, but you want to change for her, and because you love her and want to be with her. And you'll pay any price to be with her....(if thats the way you truelly feel.)

 

Thanks guys!
this is really helping me get through this.
its hard but i know i can do it!
we have had talks befroe but this is kinda the icing on the cake! so........ i really hope she reconsiders! I have to change this time, if there is a this time. But im going to make sure i do it and let her basically do anything she wants! I want to marry this girl!