it was a good day

nice country drive...good curves etc.

very peaceful @ her gravesite...they had recently cut the grass (on of my favorite smells is freshly cut grass)

been along time since i've been there, but i'll be going more often. i feel like such a weight has been lifted just by chillin' there

it's weird how you can so unconditionally love & at the same time deeply miss somebody you never even met. there is a connection that i can't put into words. even thoght i never got to see or touch her or even knew she existed till like a year after she passed away, i have this deep love in my heart for her...it's kinda spooky. h:

thanks for all the good thoughts

 

i remember that post. that was the most memorable post in that thread cause it was so heartbreaking.

good to hear that you feel a lot better now

 

i sowwy.

whenever im real upset, i go "visit" my Dad...it always makes me feel better..i'll just sit there and stare into space and imagine.......and when i walk away from there, i feel so at ease. and its so werid, but everytime i stand up from sitting at his grave, i take a deep breath...its involuntary..it just happens...and i feel so much better afterwards.

it'll get better in time...and you have a guardian angel...a real innocent, special one. SHE is why youre still here....

 

wow man I am sorry to hear that. I am sure one day you will have that chance to be a father again and will be able to love that child and be a father for it. It will be a greatfeeling since you were robbed of that :happysad:

 

thanks for the thought Mandi...... i was thinking that if anybody here would understand this it'd be you.

i went there & just layed on the ground beside her grave looking up @ the sky. i fell asleep for about 30 minutes & when i woke up, i had this most incredible warm feeling inside

 

Good to hear things are cool now.

 

10/15 (day after tomorrow) Would be my oldest son's 6th birthday. I totally feel your pain during this time.