Same situation a while back. Together with her for 5 years. She wants to see what is out there (gives me the ol it's not you it's me, I don't know what I want) She does her thing for 7 months, I just stay single and date around. She calls me out of the blue, i'm so sorry i want to be back with you. blah blah blah.
I say, we can see eachother and kick it, but nothing serious. I keep my guard up and my distance, we go out and kick it, hit it, and then 2 weeks later, it's the same ol song and dance. Just remember, once your trust is broken with someone, they will do it again. Trust me. Find one that will be yours, and knows what they want, kinda like yourself. They are out there, just don't try and look so hard. It will come.

 

i'd also like to add that part of breaking up with someone is letting go and moving on. It sounds like you've already done that, but she still hasn't been able to let go. Let her deal with the break up, she got herself into this situation in the first place. Also if you do hook up, theres a good chance that your relationship will never be the same as what it was. So if your thinking you can get back together with her and pick up where you two left off and have everything be fine and dandy, think again.

 

thanks for all the advice.. its well taken.. im almost positive i did the right thing.. thank you..

 

I just say let her know you'vefound someone new and if she wants to be friends that's cool. That way you'll know if she really cares for you. If she dosen't want that, her agenda is something else.

 

Gah.
I hear ya man. Girls can be more trouble than it's worth sometimes.

That said, if you've moved on; then you've moved on. Tell her that, be up front and don't sugar coat shit. NOthing is worse than having the person you love (this case, she loves you) lie to you just to make you feel better, and then confuse you down the road. Believe me on that. NOTHING is worse than that.

Be honest, tell her up front that you were hurt and have moved on, you'll be there as her friend for as long as she needs you, but not in a relationship. Stick to it.

Remember what you've gone through, and don't feel bad if she has to go through the same thing. Not that it's "fair", but you certainly shouldn't feel bad for a mistake she made.

Now, go out with that other girl and have a good time.

 

what he said. don't lay down smack like "you're a piece of dumb shit" or by telling them what they did which you think was bad.

give her constructive criticism. if the girl is a legit one, she will respond accordingly. i know this one girl who was being really strange to me. since i felt she was pretty much writing me off for an idioit, i eventually wrote her an email in which i told her how she was behaving. i then finished it off with "you need some integrity." from there we worked it out, and now thigns are cool.

she responded mostly to the integrity statement. she knew that if she wanted to have a decent friendship with me, that she would have to come to terms on that level. and since girls really value having strong communcation channels with other people, you'll be surprised what may come from it.

 

if you really love a lady and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, whip it out, and do it in da butt. yessss.

dude i'm going through this same exact situation as we speak.

 

what exactly was her reason for breaking up with you in the first place??

 

Just say sorry and walk away dude. She left you. Now you're over her and you're with someone new.

You don't have any feelings for her any more....at least I don't think you do...then just say sorry and move on. That's how it has to be.

 

:chuckles: