My psychology teacher told me that most suicides happen in the winter. Apparently the getting cold and the much lower amounts of daily sun can really help ur depression grow.

 

SAD= Season Affliction Disorder...People miss the sunlight or lack of sunlight in the colder months, and suicide rate are higher

 

Yes depression sucks. But the way I see it, you can give up and let time pass you or you can change it to where you can make you happy. 2003 Has sucked major for me but with the turn of the new year hopefully everything will be better.

 

This is why I am depressed:

Have you ever thought about death? I have been thinking about is since last Thursday. Man I really don't want to die. I am going to miss the people that I love so much. I am going to hate it when my parents die, I love them so much and they have done so much for me, I won't be able to live without them. I dont know what I am going to do when they die, I know when it happens I am going to go into severe depression.

I am never going to be alive again or never know what is going on or anything and that is what is scaring me and making me depressed. I know when the time comes it comes. I guess the reason I keep thinking about it is that if I do keep thinking about it then it won't happen. Or someone will tell me that it wont happen. And another reason I keep thinking about it when something gets in my head it is hard for me to stop thinking about it, it usally stops when the thing happens which I don't want that to be my reason to stop thinking about it this time. Like I said previously I think I am going to set up a doctors appointment so I can get this fixed. I am really scared and depressed right now. When ever I think about it I get sick to my stomach and I almost start to :cry: I don't know what to do but I get more and more depressed everyday thinking about it and I am getting tired of it. All I want to do is sleep all day so I won't think about it.

I really need to stop thinking about it, I am getting more and more depressed thinking about it. I mean I am not able to do stuff that I did before, and I really don't even laugh at funny stuff anymore and things are not really that fun anymore.

Everyday I think about it I get more and more scared. I really don't want it to happen. Sometimes I get so scared, depressed, and upset that I hit the wall with both of my hands really hard and just keep doing it until my they start to hurt.

I am starting to get really ****ing scared that I am starting to go I really don't want to die. If I knew how it felt then I wouldn't be as scared as I am.

 

All I can say is I feel ya. Sometimes at night when I go through a rough day I get to thinkin like that too. My dad passed away in 2000 and all I got is my mom and bro. You just got to live life to the fullest and find somethin you truly love to get your mind off it. Just recently my girlfriend broke up with me, my grandpa died, my friends basically deserted me because I won't drink with them and my friends are tryin to hook up with my chick and they know I still like her. Life sucks but you just got to find your high (natural high) in life. Mine right now is cars. When I work on a car or drive one I don't care about anything and I am actually happy to be me. Just try to take your mind off it and realize that even if somebody dies your memories of them will stay with you for as long as you want to remember them.

 

What I also hate is knowing that one of my parents are going to die before the other. So whenever I see one of my parents I am always going to be thinking about the other one and that is going to get really upset and depressed. I also am getting depressed knowing that my brother is going to die before me or vise versa.

 

Update: I am still really scared about dying and I still don't want it to happen. Sometimes I want to breakdown and cry or just keep hitting something. I guess I will have to live my life like this becuase I can't stop thinking about it, I don't know if a doctor would be able to help me either.

 

Like I say, all we can do is try to make the best of it man. Just enjoy them while they are here and try to make your self happy. Take a vacation to somewhere you would enjoy going or like go on a road trip with your bro. Maybe that would help take your mind off it.

 

I am starting to have headaches everyday now. I am getting tired of this. Why do we have to die? don't answer that, it is a retorical question.

I will be going on a Ski Trip to Canada This weekend but I don't know what I am going to do until then because I will still be thinking about it until the trip.

 

I am still scared and depressed I don't know what to do.