humbled
09-25-2007, 04:05 PM
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humbled
davidlitsky.com
September 15, 2007
humbled
Filed under: true story — DBL @ 9:43 pm Edit This
I have a personal image consultant, which sounds ridiculous for a mid-twenties want-to-be yuppie whose biggest claim to fame is making the blogosphere think that they’re delusional. Don’t hastily judge the job that she has done by a few choice blog entries, tweets, and videos that weren’t made during my most cognizant days. We have been working together for two and a half decades now, and while my first recollection of her advice was an ill-advised denim jacket, she has had an intricate role in transforming me from a misguided teenager to a confidently humble young professional. All humor aside, under her guidance I have been working on how I speak in public — to large groups, small groups, and one-on-one conversations. Even at times when we are behind closed doors and in the comfort of family and friends, she points out my vocal pauses, lengthy rants, and unintentional conceitedness.
The problem with image, is that the constant struggle for perfection can make people apprehensive of your intentions. I have learned to take a different approach, understanding that our external appearance is a superficial wall around our garden of imperfections. Although I have controlled gaps in the bastille that holds my emotions, I still fall into the traps of conceit, cockiness, and arrogance. I surround myself with people in my personal and professional lives that understand my continuing pursuit of self-education, and point out these instances without fear of an irrational meltdown on my behalf. My goal is that by treating people with respect, that they will exercise the same courtesy to me. I implemented this life-philosophy after the humbling experience of a presidential impeachment in college, and made adjustments after personal frustration lead me down a similar path in my post-collegiate career.
It was respect that made me a passenger in a European drop-top, floating through the streets of Philadelphia reminiscent of Thunder Road. Stopping to sit along the polluted banks of the Schuylkill River under darkness accented by distant city lights and slow-burning cigarettes, we shared stories about our jaded lives. Two people, two backgrounds, two age brackets, and two separate views brought together by an appreciation for the imperfections of life. Our mutual respect hasn’t always existed, tempted by the tactful words I am traditionally known for.
One of the most important lessons that I have learned over the years, and in particular the last six months, is that you cannot use your words as inauspicious instruments against others as a way to bring yourself up. I have distanced myself from so many people because what I say is negative, derogatory, and adds no value the conversation. I started to blog because these actions had left with me with nobody else to talk to but myself. Heeding the life lessons from my past, my posts and commentary were as positive as I could possibly write, and did not have the intent of my previous musings. Still, I was making people upset with me and I took a long hard look at what I had wrote, and couldn’t find a sharp-tongued word. From time to time, I made criticisms of web technologies, content, and office spaces — but always made sure to be respectful and suggest a positive solution.
Let me tell you, people have no problem saying what is on their mind when they have the protection of wires and keys in front of them. Most of my feedback and criticism has come from my favorite spot on the net, The Basement at Honda-Acura.net. They are a diverse crowd over there and are quick to point out your flaws with refreshing honesty. Sure, I have received bits and pieces from the web2.0 bloggers, but even under their tutelage, I cannot succeed. This is concentrated to a few people in particular, and I question if their criticism is in my best interest or through a hidden agenda. Considering I hear this feedback through a third party proxy, I believe that it’s the latter.
Perhaps I came on too strong too early, a problem of mine in the past, but I have been around this scene for a long time. Sure, I spent the majority of my time outside of the limelight on mailing lists, news groups, and vbulletin forums — but the premise is the same. This whole landscape is a place to be yourself, talk about what you know, profess your ideas, meet new people, and listen to their feedback. Before I wrap tonight’s rant and head out to my local pub, I want to share an interview between Mark Ecko and Kanye West in Complex Magazine, where blogs came up in the conversation.
I agree with Kanye that the blogosphere is the place you go when you want to be real and get real feedback. It says a lot about his character that no matter what we may hear about his presumed arrogance, he too is on a constant journey of self-improvement — although he is a world-reknown producer / artist / designer, and I am an aspiring banker.
I anticipate the constructive criticism that comes with the territory.
September 15, 2007
humbled
Filed under: true story — DBL @ 9:43 pm Edit This
I have a personal image consultant, which sounds ridiculous for a mid-twenties want-to-be yuppie whose biggest claim to fame is making the blogosphere think that they’re delusional. Don’t hastily judge the job that she has done by a few choice blog entries, tweets, and videos that weren’t made during my most cognizant days. We have been working together for two and a half decades now, and while my first recollection of her advice was an ill-advised denim jacket, she has had an intricate role in transforming me from a misguided teenager to a confidently humble young professional. All humor aside, under her guidance I have been working on how I speak in public — to large groups, small groups, and one-on-one conversations. Even at times when we are behind closed doors and in the comfort of family and friends, she points out my vocal pauses, lengthy rants, and unintentional conceitedness.
The problem with image, is that the constant struggle for perfection can make people apprehensive of your intentions. I have learned to take a different approach, understanding that our external appearance is a superficial wall around our garden of imperfections. Although I have controlled gaps in the bastille that holds my emotions, I still fall into the traps of conceit, cockiness, and arrogance. I surround myself with people in my personal and professional lives that understand my continuing pursuit of self-education, and point out these instances without fear of an irrational meltdown on my behalf. My goal is that by treating people with respect, that they will exercise the same courtesy to me. I implemented this life-philosophy after the humbling experience of a presidential impeachment in college, and made adjustments after personal frustration lead me down a similar path in my post-collegiate career.
It was respect that made me a passenger in a European drop-top, floating through the streets of Philadelphia reminiscent of Thunder Road. Stopping to sit along the polluted banks of the Schuylkill River under darkness accented by distant city lights and slow-burning cigarettes, we shared stories about our jaded lives. Two people, two backgrounds, two age brackets, and two separate views brought together by an appreciation for the imperfections of life. Our mutual respect hasn’t always existed, tempted by the tactful words I am traditionally known for.
One of the most important lessons that I have learned over the years, and in particular the last six months, is that you cannot use your words as inauspicious instruments against others as a way to bring yourself up. I have distanced myself from so many people because what I say is negative, derogatory, and adds no value the conversation. I started to blog because these actions had left with me with nobody else to talk to but myself. Heeding the life lessons from my past, my posts and commentary were as positive as I could possibly write, and did not have the intent of my previous musings. Still, I was making people upset with me and I took a long hard look at what I had wrote, and couldn’t find a sharp-tongued word. From time to time, I made criticisms of web technologies, content, and office spaces — but always made sure to be respectful and suggest a positive solution.
Let me tell you, people have no problem saying what is on their mind when they have the protection of wires and keys in front of them. Most of my feedback and criticism has come from my favorite spot on the net, The Basement at Honda-Acura.net. They are a diverse crowd over there and are quick to point out your flaws with refreshing honesty. Sure, I have received bits and pieces from the web2.0 bloggers, but even under their tutelage, I cannot succeed. This is concentrated to a few people in particular, and I question if their criticism is in my best interest or through a hidden agenda. Considering I hear this feedback through a third party proxy, I believe that it’s the latter.
Perhaps I came on too strong too early, a problem of mine in the past, but I have been around this scene for a long time. Sure, I spent the majority of my time outside of the limelight on mailing lists, news groups, and vbulletin forums — but the premise is the same. This whole landscape is a place to be yourself, talk about what you know, profess your ideas, meet new people, and listen to their feedback. Before I wrap tonight’s rant and head out to my local pub, I want to share an interview between Mark Ecko and Kanye West in Complex Magazine, where blogs came up in the conversation.
I agree with Kanye that the blogosphere is the place you go when you want to be real and get real feedback. It says a lot about his character that no matter what we may hear about his presumed arrogance, he too is on a constant journey of self-improvement — although he is a world-reknown producer / artist / designer, and I am an aspiring banker.
I anticipate the constructive criticism that comes with the territory.
