To my land on the lake. I need to think. Then maybe the river. Last night was bad.

Basically my dad told me he would never accept me, and my mom ended up leaving the house and I haven't seen her since. I don't know why I'm posting this here.

I screw up everything it seems. I asked what I did to deserve this but no reply. I'm mad at God. I've begun to believe he's just a figment of a church that wants money and just limits people's thinking to get that money. And just hearing those assholes on TV "We need to associate our government with the church the country was founded under" really pisses me off. Why does the government need to tell people how to rule their life? Screw conservatism. I'd more likely vote for a libertarian. Blah

I'm going off on tangents, I'm just horribly scared again. I puked last night and fell asleep at 9pm and woke up this morning at 9am. I don't want to be this way. I want to be "normal" and be able to live up to everything my parents had hoped for me (have the perfect house, the perfect wife, the perfect family). I really don't think people understand how shitty being gay is at times. Not that I think everybody's life is a cake walk and nobody as horrible times--much worse than how I'm doing right now I'm sure, but they just think. I don't know, many of them don't help. The whole "it's a disease thing" is what some people believe, if they get close they could catch it. Buncha BS. Oh well.

/rant

 

Nah man it's totally their fault for not being able to understand that you are what you are and it's got nothing to do with how they raised you nor is there anything they can do to change you. Their actions are up to them. I know it seems like they're reacting to you but if they have problems then they were going to have problems regardless of whether or not those problems seemed to be centered around you. You just happen to be the topic those problems manifest themselves around. Don't think for a second that you caused any of their issues.

 

He'll get over it, sometime. I'll be successful because, well--I haven't let people telling me I'll amount to nothing stop me yet. I'm just suppose to be the "quiet kid" that doesn't express their opinion in anything, they'll just let things go. I'm not so much like that anymore, if I think it's important to me then I do put up somewhat of a fight and try to meet them in the middle, or get them to meet me in the middle. Truth be told I'm very easy to work with, but I'm not going to let people have their way with everything, especially when it's "you're just the quiet kid that happens to be gay and doesn't care about anything." Of course, most things aren't worth a fight. Oh well. I'm going now. Thanks for the kind words.

 

:hugglez: I know what you're going through... I still lub j00!!! :happysad: :kiss:

 

:kiss: Janna, you are by far the bestest Honda person out there. I :love: you too.

 

Hey man seriously any parent who would hoestly do that to their child is one of two things

1) Shocked at what has been told to them and trying to come to terms with what they know is out of their control.

In this case give it a little bit of time and it will get better...this isn't light news to a parent at all and different people take things in different ways.

2) narrow minded as all hell.

This doesn't help much and it usually either takes a very extended amount of time for them to understand its just who you are.

It doesn't make you a bad person at all andyou are stil the same person you always have been and if they don't see it then it is their loss.

 

It's been a year since I told them.

 

Have they told you it's a phase yet?

 

Yeah well it still takes time...not everything is "overnight".

I dunno live your life and enjoy each day as though it were your last, be as polite to them as though nothing had ever been said, act as though it doesn't affect you when you are around your parents and let them know you love them no matter what.

It will happen...I know it doesn't seem like it right now but no parent can leave their child behind them.

 

I got that! Then an offer to see a shrink... but.. my mom is cool with it now...... 4-5 years later, :happysad: