96 accord when i start my car the dimmer lights in the dash comes on but when i turn on my head lights the dash lights go off could it be a relay? if so where is it located thanks.

 

its probably you switch, check your taillights to see if they come on with your lights. i had a problem with my 97 where i would turn on my lights and my dash lights would go off, and my taillights would go off too with the dash lights. make sure you park lights are on too. with the dash lights problems your parks wont go on either, only your headlights.

 

no tail lights comes on with the lights and park lights. what is suppose to happen when u disconnect the dashlight brightness controller? i check the wires to it and the red has power and the red n black wire has power.

 

sounds like either the headlight switch or the tail lights themselves. i think if the tail lights go out, the dash lights go out as well. it's like a warning system, to tell you that your tail lights are dead. and like accordsir86 said, it could also be the headlight switch (not the brightness controller!). the headlight switch went bad on my family's 88 legend, exactly the same problem you're describing.