It wasn't implied that we have no contact when we broke up. Like after 4 years, never talk to me again sorta-thing. For christ's sake, all I did was try to confess that I had been dishonest about smoking and had a problem with it. Hardly grounds for a breakup if chick wasn't already nuts for whatever reason, but it's what she used. The breakup was civil. It was the next encounter following that made it clear, because she was shitty.

In the years that followed I learned some things about my behavior which eventually led me to be clean and sober, but unless the pot can call the kettle black, that never got blamed.

Either way, I learned my lesson. That no matter how old you get, your mother will always choose to embarrass you in the most public way she can.