You really can't tell from a game menu, but you can just tell when you're playing. In SWAT, you'll get magically shot around corners or even fall over and die w/o hearing a gun go off. Since the host is seeing everything faster, you're getting killed without a fair shot.

When you're in a team, make sure to hop into Theater first. From there, the screen will tell you who has the best internet connection.

Promote them to leader, then head into matchmaking.