I'm with what fatbooty said. don't make it into a date to begin with, and when you say, "do you wanna go out sometime?" it immediately has the date tone to it. what you should ask her is, as someone suggested, "what are your plans this weekend? wanna hit up the bowling lanes/putt putt course/local cafe/etc?" movie is a bad idea for someone that you don't want an awkward situation with, movie is very datey, especially if you pay for it.
one of my best first dates was (started at 9pm) played a round of putt putt (I worked in a glow in the dark putting course, it was fun), went to denny's after that and had coffee and dessert. we wrapped it up by walking around wal-mart being goofy playing with the toys, checking out the $5 movie bin, laughing at the tabloids. ended up marrying that girl 2 years later :P.
the worst first date I went on, dressed up (button up, tie, slacks) and picked her up at her house with roses. met the parents (who loved me) and the family (also loved me) and off we went. went to a top quality restaurant, after getting in there and seeing the prices she said she didn't feel comfortable so we shot over to hard rock cafe. ran into a couple of mutual friends and had a couple of tag alongs as we walked around down town. finally when they split, we had an argument and I was forced to drive her home mad at me. It was then awkward at work for the next month until she started dating someone new (happened to be one of the guys we ran into downtown).
the moral of the story, don't try too hard, be yourself (I know people say it, but its true), and have fun. If you're not having fun, she's not having fun.
Originally Posted by
A-series
Sounds good I guess.
So is it really that bad to not have a plan in advance, to offer up a couple of suggestions or to even ask her what she'd like to do? (if she said yes to "doing something")
I'd never really thought of that, but seems it would take some up the pressure off me. Lowering the anxiety prior to asking her would probably be helpful, lately all I'm thinking about is what to do if she said yes
h:
you don't have to have the entire date planned out, just a first 'event' be it movie/putt putt/bowling/dinner. at first said event, ask her if she wants to do something else, and what. and remember, these kind of activities can be mutual friend activities as long as nothing intimate evolves, meaning if she or you just aren't feeling it, finish up the "date" and go back to being friends. even friends can go hang out every so often, so ask her to hang out again, sometimes feelings evolve after 2-3 dates.
it sounds like you actually care for girls you date, unlike the guys who just use girls to get into bed. the guy who is "hitting" on her means he is probably one of those other guys, some girls like that and not the nice guy, but sex is not relationship.
/novel