personally, I am terrified of death.

I've already lost some one whom I'd loved very much to suicide, and day in and day out I'm not sure if it hurts more to know they are really gone, or that they were miserable with their life and that was the only way out. I terrorize myself because i feel like there was something more i could have done for him not to put the gun to his head, and i also wonder "why?" and "what was he thinking?" Its been 4 years, 5 years April 15. I am no where near the healing point, and we were only together for an year and a half. Would you want to put your loved ones through something similiar? I would want anybody to suffer but some times them being there can comfort both people- when the mutual love is exchanged.
Its hard to deal with the passing of someone important.

Even when we put my dog to sleep, cause she was almost 18 years old, i cried for days. I was very content with her being there even though she was suffering. Call me selfish, but i loved my dog very much, she was not only a companion, but my friend. I could tell her anything and ofcourse she wouldn't naturally repeat it... gave me a sense of bonding.