I was in Thailand, playing Ping Pong in Ding Dang.
I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle up my ass.
Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.