just picked up a Perepheral brand Connex2Car pxa06 cable
it goes from ai-net --> 3.5 mini jack/co-ax/ipod
also charges ipod
this way i can charge the ipod, control from ipod, and also plug in any friends mp3 player or my computer if i want to
it was $60, so a little more spendy, but didnt have to deal with ebay or shipping so thats fine
i will be putting it in tonight hopefully, assuming it stays light out long enough to get in, i have to pull apart my whole dash to get behind my stereo and also need to fix a few other wiring things while back there

also picked up a cheap holder that fits in the vent or sticks to the dash
we will see if i can make a decent bracket to get it angled right and hold the ipod nicely and not look tacky
wish me luck