welcome to the club.
I'm not into dirty sh!t but if that happened to me and I knew insurance wasn't gonna cover it I would have totally vandalized my car and got some kinda paycheck
I remember back in the day in the accord forum some dude was asking about shaving stuff and low and behold no less than a month later "somebody" hit his car with a hammer. one by the door handle, few on the trunk, right by the antenna, hood, etc. that sheet was funny as hell
before I put another $3000 in my car I'm getting somesort of aftermarket coverage from insurance.