Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because I'm buying horses. I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny looked worried..."Then I think we'd better hurry home right away."
"Why?" said his father. "Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, I think he wants to buy Mom."