A man goes to the doctor because he has a tape worm, the doctor says, "Okay, here's how we get rid of it. Every day for three days you stick a gram cracker and an apple up your ass and on the fourth day come back to my office."

The man is confused but agrees and on the fourth day he returns. He says to the doctor, "I did what you asked me to, now what?"

The doctor replies bend over and rams just the gram cracker up the patient's ass. The patient asked what now and the doctor tells him to be patient.

Moments later, the tapeworm sticks his head out and shouts, "Hey where's my ****ing apple?", just as the doctor hits him with a mallet.

Now that's how you get rid of a tape worm!