I agree w/above post, except I think you should talk to each person one on one BEFORE the argument happens. Talk to dad, let him know how you feel when they start fighting, mom too. Maybe if mom hears dads opinion from someone other than dad, it may register and she may realize how passive she's being. I'm all for helping out when tough times hit, but damn, 3 years? That's just being lazy if you ask me. Have you ever talked to your brother about this? What's he got to say for himself? Does he care about the relationship between your father and his mother? Does he realize the effects his lack of responsibility is having on thier relationship?