Correct. I need a switch, AND... I found what the other part is called.

ICU: Integrated Control Unit.

This thing is located ??? and also has the...
Bulb Check Circuit
Key Switch Input
Seat Belt Switch Input
Door Switch Input
Beeper Output
Intermittent Wiper On Input
and
Intermittent Wiper Park Control
on it.

I just spent an hour by flashlight with the wrong tools trying to find the thing with the beeping "the key is in the ignition you dumbass" alarm on it. I'm sure that's on the "Integrated Control Unit", because it's "Integrated", but I can't find what's beeping. It sounds as though it's coming from the interior fuse box, but I've unplugged all of the harnesses on it and it kept beeping. There was also a box below it. Unpluged it and it kept beeping. I guess I need to take the dash apart to find it.

I wish I knew where ??? was located. I'm still looking. Does anyone care to save me some trouble looking? It looks like all you need is this box/circuit board on Junction connector C417. Haynes doesn't tell you where C417 is.
I'm guess I'm digging through that 1258 page PDF now...