One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making
love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom
window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her
vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me,
there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband
immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the
situation.

The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky
situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir
would permit." The husband being very
concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to
get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK,
what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis
and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee
getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and
the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's
vagina. The husband nodded and gave his
approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get
on with it."


So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with
honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few
gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has
noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So
the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor
began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.


The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began
to moan and groan aloud.


The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was
enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's
breasts and started making loud noises.


The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and
shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think
you're doing?" The doctor, still
concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the
bastard!"

 

that would make me very mad :sad:

 

:rofl:

 

:lmfao::lmfao:

 

:lmfao:

 

A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the
first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets
robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She was
rushed to the hospital where she was fixed up. As she leaves
she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor says, "Oh! You're going to have triplets. They're
fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't
worry though the bullets will pass through their system
through normal metabolism."

As time goes on the woman has three children, two girls and
a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her
mother and says "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing!"

Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies,
"I passed a bullet into the toilet." The woman comforts her
and explains all about the accident at the bank.

A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with
tears streaming from her eyes. "Mommy, I've done a very bad
thing!" The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet
into the toilet, right?"

The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes,
how did you know?"

The mother comforts her child and explains about the
incident at the bank.

A month later the boy comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a
very bad thing!"

"You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"

"No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog."

 

AAAAAAAAHSAHSDHFSLKJFHSALDFJSHADLKJAHDLJKDHASDJAHS DL

 

R.i.P Fido. :wtc:



















:lmfao:

 

:lmfao:

 

Last one for the night....

The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often
helped men last longer during the act.

The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it." He
spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He
couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the
restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but
figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his
solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the
side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath to
pose as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the
privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He
closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer
to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept
his eyes shut and replied, "What?"


He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"



The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's
busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well
check your brakes too while you're down there because your
truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."