Jokes
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Cake or Death?
Joined: Jun 2003
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From: NJ
Jokes
I'm sure some of them (all of them?) are reposts.. but... :gives:
Q. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 U.S. leader
Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed.?????
A. A cherry float.
Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat IT - we're closed.
Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A. To find a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A. She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the
outside?
A. K9P.
Q. What's another name for pickled bread?
A. Dill-dough.
Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.
Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. You can sleep with a light on.
Q. Why is sex like a bridge game?
A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic
divers?
A. Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.
Q. What is the new O.J. web site address?
A. slash.slash.backslash.escape
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather . . . kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
A. You can't hear an enzyme.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. . . Men will screw anything.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with ........the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A. Right where you left him.
Q.What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the Postoffice?
A. They're hiring.
Q. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A. Sanka.
Q. If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the
prostitute?
A. The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
Q. What has four legs and an arm?
A. A happy pit-bull
Q. What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber?
A. A robber snatches watches.
Q. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 U.S. leader
Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed.?????
A. A cherry float.
Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat IT - we're closed.
Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A. To find a tight seal.
Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A. She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the
outside?
A. K9P.
Q. What's another name for pickled bread?
A. Dill-dough.
Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.
Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. You can sleep with a light on.
Q. Why is sex like a bridge game?
A. You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What is the difference between Olympic swimmers and Olympic
divers?
A. Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.
Q. What is the new O.J. web site address?
A. slash.slash.backslash.escape
Q. What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
A. Erotic is using a feather . . . kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q. What is the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?
A. You can't hear an enzyme.
Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. . . Men will screw anything.
Q. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with ........the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A. Right where you left him.
Q.What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the Postoffice?
A. They're hiring.
Q. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A. Sanka.
Q. If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the
prostitute?
A. The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
Q. What has four legs and an arm?
A. A happy pit-bull
Q. What is the difference between a peeping tom and a robber?
A. A robber snatches watches.
