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Why I'm divorced...

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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 09:50 AM
  #1  
yellowbastard's Avatar
yellowbastard
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Default Why I'm divorced...

Why I'm divorced.........

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking
up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked...
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 09:54 AM
  #2  
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canada
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From: Syracuse, NY... again.
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Wife should have said Happy Birthday and none of it would have happened. It's her fault. It always is...
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 09:55 AM
  #3  
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shirley
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From: MI
Default

i think they found that joke inscribed in the pyramids it's so old h:
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 10:08 AM
  #4  
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danni*j
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Default

Still thought it was a good story
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 10:11 AM
  #5  
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Default

old
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 12:45 PM
  #6  
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DarkStarr
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From: Pittsburgh, PA
Default

lulz were had
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 12:46 PM
  #7  
reech-around's Avatar
reech-around
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From: san jose, ca
Default

hahahahhaa
__________________
.
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 01:24 PM
  #8  
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R_Squared
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From: Indianapolis
Default

oooold...still funny though
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 01:47 PM
  #9  
CRAIGHIMSELF's Avatar
CRAIGHIMSELF
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From: Sloppy onshore junk.
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I became slightly eroused.
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Old Sep 24, 2010 | 01:49 PM
  #10  
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From: teh az
Default

Originally Posted by craighimself
i became slightly eroused.
+1
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