fmylife v.repost?
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 14,544
Likes: 0
From: Holyoke, MA
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
#43502 (16) - 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm by NeverCampingAgain - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (10279) - you deserved that one (740)
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#43502 (16) - 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm by NeverCampingAgain - sex - I agree, your life is f***ed (10279) - you deserved that one (740)
ShareThis
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I
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 56,525
Likes: 0
From: Westside til I die
Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML
Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial comes on with the hot chick saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walks in and says "See honey, you still have a chance." FML
Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas's voice...coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML
Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML
:rofl::rofl:
Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
Today I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial comes on with the hot chick saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walks in and says "See honey, you still have a chance." FML
Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas's voice...coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML
Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML
:rofl::rofl:
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Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
2015 Ford Mustang GT Fastback - Ingot Silver - 6M - Performance Package - Gibson Catback, JLT CAI, FR 47lb injectors, BAMA E85 tune, Eibach Sportline, BMR wheel hop kit, UPR oil separator, Steeda shifter bushing/bracket
Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
Pull my finger
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 41,423
Likes: 0
From: Arizona
The funeral is so bad :lmao:
haha
Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me.
Last edited by RicoD; Feb 16, 2009 at 10:11 PM.
.......
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 522,629
Likes: 0
From: noobtown
haha that site is pretty funny
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94 Chevy Blazer - brother crashed.
94 2dr accord - h22 swap, rear ended.
03 1.8 gti - waiting for her bag of chips.
:crazyr: :slap: :hsughr: :nec: :madr:
94 Chevy Blazer - brother crashed.
94 2dr accord - h22 swap, rear ended.
03 1.8 gti - waiting for her bag of chips.
:crazyr: :slap: :hsughr: :nec: :madr:
åhhhhh
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,992
Likes: 0
From: Toronto, Canada
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. And one woman stood up and started making noises, I asusmed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Pull my finger
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 41,423
Likes: 0
From: Arizona
I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML
I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma.
Today, at physical therapy the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said "hey sweet ipod". She said, "actually i have diabetes."