Ok heres the thing, things here are getting BAD. This is my way of expressing myself and asking for opinions and words of wisdom.

I will start by saying that i think i am a good person, i'm nice to everyone, i give money/time to charity, open doors for people, i'll help anyone out if they need something i have....you get the point. I'm not a typical christian or any believer if a faith such as that, i'm not your typical ANYTHING. I love my kids i spend all my free time with them and the wife, i never do anything for myself anymore (and no i'm not griping about that either, i enjoy it). With those things said, i think life is fuggin with me. Everything possible that could go wrong HAS, and i do mean everything. Starting with the fact that my wife had to leave work for 6 weeks, she has just returned. During that time, we have gotten behind on bills..... 2 months on house payment, 2 months on power bill.....ect. It would be easy to tell me to use my savings. Well 2 kids, 3 hospital visits (for me), a few hospital visits for the wife, and a few other "suprise" bills, there are no more savings.

Over the last month i have went to four different places trying to get a loan (the last one being today) the first three pretty much laughed and just said no, even the bank i have had an account with for over 4 years. And all i was trying to borrow was 2500$, to get caught up on bills and shit. Well my credit score screwed that up (mostly my fault for that, but my ex helped ALOT).

I have had my little girl now for almost 2 years straight, i have never once asked her mother for child support because i know she cant afford it, she's actually in the hospital now fixing to have her third child. I guess thats where my 'niceness' comes in, by me not asking for child support to help raise our daughter. I can provide for her well, but now that i'm behind its hard to get caught back up without a little help, and cant seem to find a bank/loan place to give me a chance....

Until today, i went to a place this morning that only does loans. I went and asked for 2500$ again, they said do you have anything for colateral. I said my car, so they said they MIGHT could give me 1700$, because of the year and mileage of my car. They have to check out a few things first. This will get me caught up, but will also give me another payment to make for the rest of the year which will be paid off when income taxes come in.

What i'm trying to say/ask for opinions on is........ life is being really shitty to me right now, what are ways to cope with things like this. There is alot more going on with this right now, but i know i have already typed a book and most wont read this much, much less even more.

And yes i already know, things could be alot worse, and there are people out there who has it worse then i do.

Cliff notes: Life is being shitty, how do you cope with things when it gets rough. And if you did read all of this, thank you!

 

I hear you man...
Learn to take more solice and appriciation in the things that bring you joy.
Have confidence you will get through it.. and keep your head up.
It's hard.. I know... but that's the best I can give. Maybe go to a book store.. or library.. and research their financial books... focusing on budgeting and what not.
Maybe pull in a temp part time job?

 

Goin to the gym helped me out alot...or working out/running in general...also beer helps too

 

You've been putting up with a LOT lately. Letting your ex stay with you, etc.
IMHO, I would just keep doing what you're doing. Don't spend money on anything you DON'T need right now, and just keep working hard. If there's one thing I'm learning in this life, is that if you do most of the work, people will not only let you, but piggy back on you for as long as your legs will hold. People mistake your kindness for weakness and don't pull their weight. Don't let them or this change your heart. Just keep working hard.

 

Thanks, yea thats why i spend so much time with my kids because they bring me more happiness than anything. I really like spending time with them, it kind of gets my mind off of things for a bit.....untill my little girl tells me something she wants for christmas thats a couple hundred bucks....then i remember the problems all over again.....

 

well, for starters, how are you two about managing your money?

i see your wife has an '05 PT cruiser. was that purchase necessary?

also, she recently had surgery to have her tubes tied as well, right? was that covered by insurance? was that really necessary?

not trying to attack you, just trying to get more info..

 

Yea, i have been wanting to do that, but my job has me on night shift, and i live probably 30+ miles to the nearest gym. Me and my little girl take long walks alot. Yea the beer might help.... i might drink once every 4-5 months or so. But i have alot of alcoholics in my family and so does my wife, i dont want to risk picking up another habit there.....



Well one good thing that has happed is my ex ended up not moving back in with me for the second time. She is actually in the hospital right now, going to have her third child any day now. As for buying things i dont need.... i dont, there are things i NEED that i dont even buy. Since my wife hasn't been working the last 6 weeks, all my "extra" money has went to her for...gas for her car, cigs, her car payment....things like that.

 

Honestly she bought the PT when i was out of town and i had absolutely NOTHING to do with that. She has paid all but one of the payments herself. Until we got behind we were managing good, but once we got behind, its hard to catch up.

She recently had surgery to remove her cervix, because she had cervical cancer.... incurance covered the hospitals bills, but not the doctor himself... but i felt that it was a very important thing that we had to get done at the time.

 

I'm in a bind now too bro... i feel ya

 

ok, clearly the surgery was necessary, then.

but i have to go back to the car. do you think it was fair of her to unload a car payment into the mix, without consulting you, her family, on it? sounds pretty messed up on her part.