- im an emotional wreck inside lol
- ive done too much to turn back, and too much to go forward :/
- i live a reckless life, but i dunno any other way now :/
- my actions dont seem to parallel what i know... therefore making the things i know that are right, worthless.
- i dont give a f*ck, but at the same time i do.
- i believe in love/relationships, but at the same time i think its ultimately a crock of shit.
- i dont like the taste of alcohol, but i drink all the time.
- i think too much sometimes.

 

The DMV sucks

 

what triggered this?

was it one event? a series of events without closure?




go into detail. Are we talking with relationships with friends? Are we talking feeling stuck in life?



There's a deeper issue to this. You're lashing out only because there's something on the inside you're not happy with. There's a root cause which is forcing your emotions out in a destructive way.



What's right is in your heart. Never second guess what's in there.

What's wrong are the way your feelings are coming out. Instead of projecting yourself properly, you're only displaying the easiest thing you know how to do.



Welcome to my world.




Nobody likes booze for the taste. You love the sense of closeness it brings with you and your company. You like being drunk / buzzed around everyone because for those moments, you can function without fear.

You need to find a way to express yourself like that on a daily basis without the substance.


Naw ... it's alright to think about things ... just don't start putting blame onto yourself.

I just did that ... I was in a depressed hole for 4 weeks straight. Guilt and fear of the future threw me in anxiety pits.

 

id rather discuss in person
id rather discuss in person
well, im not really "lashing" out.... im just living kinda.... recklessly. lol. like someone with money to burn and not a care or responsibility in the world... then i wake up and am
i dont have one.
pimpin aint easy!
lol jk :/
trust me. ive been here for a looooooooooong time. seriously. trust me i have.
it doesnt bring me close to those around me. it just helps me drown out things i dont want to think about or face at the time. that...and as much as i hate to admit it... even though i despise drama, i think im a drama king. lol :/
i never blame myself for things. i seriously have no regrets or remorse about anything ive done. but then again, thats probably the result of me being so jaded. thats probably why i dont care about things but i want to... or maybe i do care about things but i dont want to. lol who knows... im a f*cking walking paradox h:

 

walk it off, bitch




:happysad: :hugglez:

 

i keel joo!!! :madfawk: dont fawk wif me! im a volatile mofo :madfawk:

:hugglez: when you coming down again?

 

1. My playing test to become a golf pro next week
2. Wondering when I'll be able to move out
3. Wanting to find a girl
4. Saving $, but wanting to buy things

 

soon man...probably 5/20

 

I'm dropping mechanics of materials because the prof is an absolute asshole. I had a dentist appointment yesterday at 11 and the class is from 10-12. Her also teaches the class from 4-6. We had a test and he's told us before that he doesn't care which class we take quizzes/tests in as long as we don't make a habit of it. So I went in there at 10 to let him know I had to take the test later and he flipped out on me and wouldn't let me. So I had to run all the way back to my apartment, get my calculator/formula sheet, then I took the test and fucked it up because my plan was to review after lunch. And I owe the dentist $65 for a missed appointment.

Then I found out that like 5 kids from my class didn't even ask him and just showed up in the afternoon and were allowed to take it A bunch of us are going to the dept head and complaining about him next week, he's a gigantic asshole and his grading is unbelievably subjective. Fuck he pisses me off. I'd rather drop it and throw away the $600 or whatever than look at him for one more minute.

 

werd.