chuck norris

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down
When Chuck Norris wants to donate blood he declines the syringe and instead requests for a shotgun and a bucket.
chuck norris is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like chuck norris.
Chuck norris' tears cure cancer...too bad he has never cried.
Chuck norris sleeps with a night light not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris decided to sell a canned beverage of his urine, its what we call red bull
Chuck Norris was once involved in a verbal argument with his girlfriend over the telephone, she hung up on him. Just moments later Chuck Norris called her back and roundhouse kicked her through the phone. Needless to say that mistake was never made again
Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms, there is no protection from Chuck Norris.
Whenever you ask Chuck Norris what time it is he always responds, "Two seconds till." When you ask "Two seconds until what, " he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris ejaculates shotgun shells. This is the reason why 5 prostitutes have been found D.O.A. with their face blown off in Texas.
Chuck Norris went to burger king, ordered a Big Mac, and got it.
Not again.
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2015 Ford Mustang GT Fastback - Ingot Silver - 6M - Performance Package - Gibson Catback, JLT CAI, FR 47lb injectors, BAMA E85 tune, Eibach Sportline, BMR wheel hop kit, UPR oil separator, Steeda shifter bushing/bracket
Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
2015 Ford Mustang GT Fastback - Ingot Silver - 6M - Performance Package - Gibson Catback, JLT CAI, FR 47lb injectors, BAMA E85 tune, Eibach Sportline, BMR wheel hop kit, UPR oil separator, Steeda shifter bushing/bracket
Team B.O.B.® - Ballaz on a Budget
Does anyone use search when they post this kind of obvious repost?
I mean I repost but it is usually something that just hit the web and I miss it by a couple hours...but this shit tonight we are talking months and years of reposts are rolling in their graves.
I mean I repost but it is usually something that just hit the web and I miss it by a couple hours...but this shit tonight we are talking months and years of reposts are rolling in their graves.
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"I'll keep my money, guns and freedom. You can keep the "Change."
"I'll keep my money, guns and freedom. You can keep the "Change."



:IBSomeModShutThisHoeDownDown: