Irresponsible brother in law bumps my car
RIP Woong.
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 17,284
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From: san jose, ca
Originally Posted by chimchim
The aftermath:
I haven't seen him since the incident, but his mother has offered to pay for the damages, wife is letting me decide what to do. The thing is, HE should be paying, but I know it's gonna just come out of his parent's pocket. But that sucks because they have always been so generous and helpful to us. So if I'm going to collect, it's going to end up penalizing the parents, and not the brother. If I don't collect, it penalizes me.
Either way, he gets off free. (Which is a historical pattern in his life and I feel the cause for his current state of irresponsibility)
I haven't seen him since the incident, but his mother has offered to pay for the damages, wife is letting me decide what to do. The thing is, HE should be paying, but I know it's gonna just come out of his parent's pocket. But that sucks because they have always been so generous and helpful to us. So if I'm going to collect, it's going to end up penalizing the parents, and not the brother. If I don't collect, it penalizes me.
Either way, he gets off free. (Which is a historical pattern in his life and I feel the cause for his current state of irresponsibility)
(the bro in law, not his mom or your wife)
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SDSU Basketball
Joined: Jul 2005
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From: Diego
how does your wife feel about it???????? maybe she can talk to him and tell him to pay up!!!!!!! and the fact that mom and dad is helping him out "agian" is bullshit!!!!! hate to say it she has to say something to him!!!!!!!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 172
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From: Northern Va
Originally Posted by hitman619
how does your wife feel about it???????? maybe she can talk to him and tell him to pay up!!!!!!! and the fact that mom and dad is helping him out "agian" is bullshit!!!!! hate to say it she has to say something to him!!!!!!!
I agree. Your in laws im sure are wonderful people and personally i think if I was in your shoes i Would Not Accept the money from the parents, i'd rather show the parents and wife what kind of lazy selfish spoiled brat the brother is.
Chimchim=Honestly don't be afraid to tell them your reasoning by not taking the money. Tell them upfront that you appreciate them for wanting to fix the car but they were not in the drivers seat and caused the fender bender. So the person (the bro in law) that did should own up to the responsibilities and handle that matter and not let the parents pocket money suffer because of someone elses negligence. You may want to say this in a nicer way if possible but you get the idea.....
Thread Starter
WRX cuz Honda won't wagon
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,725
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From: San Jose, CA
I agree with you guys... it's just a very delicate matter as you can well imagine.
I think I say to them (parents), "Thanks for the offer. I don't want you two to have to pay for this. So if the money is coming from you both, then I must refuse." And leave it at that, implications quite obvious. If he doesn't pay me, then I get to eat the cost... and the onus will lie on him forever.
Thanks everyone for helping me think this through rationally. This is something just between me and him, and should not have to burden the rest of the family. Luckily the damage doesn't seem too severe, and is mostly cosmetic (but we'll see after the alignment check).
I think I say to them (parents), "Thanks for the offer. I don't want you two to have to pay for this. So if the money is coming from you both, then I must refuse." And leave it at that, implications quite obvious. If he doesn't pay me, then I get to eat the cost... and the onus will lie on him forever.
Thanks everyone for helping me think this through rationally. This is something just between me and him, and should not have to burden the rest of the family. Luckily the damage doesn't seem too severe, and is mostly cosmetic (but we'll see after the alignment check).
Last edited by chimchim; Jan 6, 2006 at 01:41 PM.
