Joke Time!!!!
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Joke Time!!!!
Two guys, Brian and Dave, fancied a drink or two but didn't have much money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of two dollars.
Brian said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
Dave said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"
Brian replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
They went into the nearest bar where Brian immediately ordered two beers and two whiskies.
Dave said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"
Brian replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!"
They downed their drinks.
Brian said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage in my pants. You go on your knees, pull it through my zipper and put it in your mouth."
As Dave did this, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued the same scam, bar after bar, getting drunker and drunker, and all for free.
At the tenth bar Dave said "Brian - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin' me! I'm losin the plot"
Brian said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third bar."
Brian said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
Dave said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"
Brian replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
They went into the nearest bar where Brian immediately ordered two beers and two whiskies.
Dave said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"
Brian replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!"
They downed their drinks.
Brian said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage in my pants. You go on your knees, pull it through my zipper and put it in your mouth."
As Dave did this, the barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued the same scam, bar after bar, getting drunker and drunker, and all for free.
At the tenth bar Dave said "Brian - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killin' me! I'm losin the plot"
Brian said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third bar."
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oh yeah, heres another
A guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, his wife is lying in bed reading. The guy says, "This is the pig I have sex with whenever you've got a headache."
His wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."
The guy replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
A guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm, his wife is lying in bed reading. The guy says, "This is the pig I have sex with whenever you've got a headache."
His wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."
The guy replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
wned: not that funny though
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alright then heres another,
An old man is sitting at a bus stop, when a teenage boy with a multi-colored mohawk sits down. The old man just stares at the boys hair, finally the boy says "what haven't you ever done anything wild or crazy"? The old man replied "yes, years ago i screwed a peacock and was just wondering if your my son"?
An old man is sitting at a bus stop, when a teenage boy with a multi-colored mohawk sits down. The old man just stares at the boys hair, finally the boy says "what haven't you ever done anything wild or crazy"? The old man replied "yes, years ago i screwed a peacock and was just wondering if your my son"?
