Those of you who aspire to Management:
#1
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Those of you who aspire to Management:
Parable Number 1:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who drops doodo on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of doodo is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep doodo, keep your mouth shut!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey and it fell into the river and drowned.
Management Lesson:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass!
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who drops doodo on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of doodo is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep doodo, keep your mouth shut!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parable Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, some people remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey and it fell into the river and drowned.
Management Lesson:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass!
__________________
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ...."WOW! What a ride!!!!!"
LUNCH with THEOLDMAN...On a break for now...
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ...."WOW! What a ride!!!!!"
LUNCH with THEOLDMAN...On a break for now...
#4
hahaha those are so true too
__________________
94 Chevy Blazer - brother crashed.
94 2dr accord - h22 swap, rear ended.
03 1.8 gti - waiting for her bag of chips.
:crazyr: :slap: :hsughr: :nec: :madr:
94 Chevy Blazer - brother crashed.
94 2dr accord - h22 swap, rear ended.
03 1.8 gti - waiting for her bag of chips.
:crazyr: :slap: :hsughr: :nec: :madr:
#7
Checking it twice
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Twixt Hell/Ann Arbor MI
Posts: 13,539
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Someone emailed them to my wife and she emailed them to me.
__________________
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ...."WOW! What a ride!!!!!"
LUNCH with THEOLDMAN...On a break for now...
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ...."WOW! What a ride!!!!!"
LUNCH with THEOLDMAN...On a break for now...