Top Ten Signs Dan Rather's Documents Were Forged
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un-Touch'd krew
Joined: May 2001
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From: My own level of hell
Top Ten Signs Dan Rather's Documents Were Forged
Top Ten Other Signs Dan Rather's "Documents" Were Forged
10. Not very plausible that two of the documents refer to George W. Bush as "Lt. George W. Bush, Our Commander-in-Thief Chimpresident, Esquire"
9. Letters from military men usually conclude with the farewells "Respectfully" or "Sincerely," not "Party on, Garth!" or "Pull my finger"
8. The letterhead on one "document," featuring rainbows, bunnies, and unicorns, as well as the legend "From the Desk of Chris Lehane," probably should have raised more eyebrows than it did
7. The "documents" refer to other military officers whose existence cannot be verified; a search of military records so far has not disclosed a "General Firstguy," an "Admiral Secondguy," or a "Lieutennant Colonel Phoney McFakerton"
6. One memo misidentifies George Bush's unit as "the Decepticons," and incorrectly states he was grounded for "transforming his plane into a giant evil space-robot without proper authorization"
5. Certain odd phrasings indicate the writer was an extreme political partisan; generally, a military officer does not refer to America as "a so-called 'democracy'" nor does he refer to our flag as "our blood-soaked rag of hegemonic persecution"
4. An addendum to one memo wondered if Ross and Rachel would ever get back together
3. Forensic scientists have identified a substance on the documents as the stable isotope of elemental bearclaw (Krispykremeum 244); Michael Moore is currently sought for questioning as a "party of interest"
2. One document contained numerous suspicious quotations from the movie Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
...and the Number One Other Sign the "Documents" Were Forged...
1. While reading the "documents" during his report, Dan Rather kept giggling like a schoolgirl on goofballs
:chuckles:
10. Not very plausible that two of the documents refer to George W. Bush as "Lt. George W. Bush, Our Commander-in-Thief Chimpresident, Esquire"
9. Letters from military men usually conclude with the farewells "Respectfully" or "Sincerely," not "Party on, Garth!" or "Pull my finger"
8. The letterhead on one "document," featuring rainbows, bunnies, and unicorns, as well as the legend "From the Desk of Chris Lehane," probably should have raised more eyebrows than it did
7. The "documents" refer to other military officers whose existence cannot be verified; a search of military records so far has not disclosed a "General Firstguy," an "Admiral Secondguy," or a "Lieutennant Colonel Phoney McFakerton"
6. One memo misidentifies George Bush's unit as "the Decepticons," and incorrectly states he was grounded for "transforming his plane into a giant evil space-robot without proper authorization"
5. Certain odd phrasings indicate the writer was an extreme political partisan; generally, a military officer does not refer to America as "a so-called 'democracy'" nor does he refer to our flag as "our blood-soaked rag of hegemonic persecution"
4. An addendum to one memo wondered if Ross and Rachel would ever get back together
3. Forensic scientists have identified a substance on the documents as the stable isotope of elemental bearclaw (Krispykremeum 244); Michael Moore is currently sought for questioning as a "party of interest"
2. One document contained numerous suspicious quotations from the movie Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
...and the Number One Other Sign the "Documents" Were Forged...
1. While reading the "documents" during his report, Dan Rather kept giggling like a schoolgirl on goofballs
:chuckles:
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