Spood

What do you guys do when your significant other is feeling really down in general? What do you say or ask? How do you handle it when the problems are not directly related to you, and are not anything that you can actually go and fix (i.e. health problems, school, etc.)?

Story behind the question:
Yesterday my g/f was having a really shitty day. Nothing terribly specific, just general badness all around. Nothing neccessarily related to the relationship (as far as I know). As a matter of fact, she wasn't even quite sure what was wrong. I tried to be a useful boyfriend and be cheerful and talk to her and maybe try and work through a little of what's bothering her. Fact: I am bad at this. BUT I DID MY BEST!! I did what made sense, what I (think) I know how to do. Well, apparently, this is a bad thing. Now she is mad because apparently, I "don't care" about her having a bad day, being very sick, etc. And, I "don't understand" what's going on with her (this may, in fact, be true). So, if I try to be upbeat and talk about things not related to what's going on with her, then I "don't care." If I try to figure out what is wrong by asking questions and trying to get it out of her, apparently then I'm being obnoxious and asking to damn many questions or something. I don't even know why that's a problem. Once I finally manage to get her to tell what's going on, then I listen and offer sympathy. After the sympathy, I try to offer possible solutions. If any of those solutions invlolve me doing something physical like helping with some kind of work, or picking up a medication or whatever, I am more than happy to do that. What am I missing?!?!?!?!? The one mistake I know I made, is that I did eventually blow up at her after a little too much criticism which basically amounted to me being pretty worthless. The blow-up is mostly a result of frustration and deep-seated feelings of inadequacy. I did suggest that perhaps she needs to find a new boyfriend...which, of course didn't go over well.

Right now, I feel like: :upset: :doh: :wtf: :sad: :down: :dunno: :cry: :wtc: :slap: :a:

Edit: If you read all of it, thank you...even if you don't have a response.

qtiger

I call and leave her totally random voice messages. Just talk about dumb crap, ramble, etc. For some reason that cheers her up. :dunno:

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etzok

Oh thats the suckage man. I dont know what to tell you except, good luck.

Spood

That would've been my first guess, but I think she just finished her last period. Maybe Post Menstrual Syndrome?

etzok

How old is she? Some of us women hit a certain age and get PPMS.....










Permanent Pre-Menstral Syndrome......

b00gers

guys generally try to "fix" things when all that was ever needed was an ear to listen to their problems. i hear that a lot.

so just be that...just let her know that youll be there to listen to her, and that youre trying your best to help her feel better?

å

its times like this where you do little things .. like take a cup of coffee to her while she crams for an exam.. etc..

little things . like qtigers random msg thingy

Spood

I've heard that...and thought I did it as well...maybe not though.

Nightshade

Get her a flower and don't try to fix it...you can't fix everything that bothers her so don't even try...seriously.