This has gotten weird.

 

i let a filipino hooker toss my salad
i shit myself on a 3 mile run. not bad, but definite mud butt. still finished the run.
i shit in the urinal in a denny's bathroom cause the stall was occupied. probably ruined someone's day. not mine.
i used to pee on my ex in the shower without telling her

that's all i got for right now.

 

dawt

 

too much?

 

not

it was a good read.
i wish you remember more

 

it'll come to me. most of them are from very drunk nights.

 

This has gotten quite intertaining....

 

I look at Reddit's GoneWild and CamWhores (amateur porn w. verified poster authenticity) on my iPad while taking a dump.

I hope the skanks know they're my toilet entertainment.

 

My buddy has annoying upstairs neighbors. There's a kid (maybe 5 years old) that STOMPS when he walks. It's very annoying and he's confronted the parents about the noise.

No change.

When I hear the kid stomp, fall, and cry ... I feel good.

 

I have about $300,000 in collectibles in my home. I want to sell it down, but don't have the time and materials to do so.

It drives my OCD insane, daily.