can't find Oil Filter
A Philanthropical Fruit
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 756
Likes: 0
From: Ann Arbor Michigan Aim: nickbeier
Changin' your own oil? Shweet.
Hey what did you end up doing to your car? I know a year ago you were asking about different mods and stuff, what ended up happening to it?
Hey what did you end up doing to your car? I know a year ago you were asking about different mods and stuff, what ended up happening to it?
Thread Starter
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 80
Likes: 0
From: Sacramento California
haha it was like a month or 2 ago but i still dont have my license yet, I CANT GET THAT DAMN TEST! But for now its stock....im working for more money, in several more months i should have most the things i wanted on there, thanks to my bro, but for now im still listing.
BAZINGA!
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 21,613
Likes: 0
From: San Diego, CA
Heh...got this e-mail from my mom today
> Oil Change Instructions for Women & Men
>
>
>
> Oil Change instructions for Women:
>
> Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles (or
> thereabouts :-) since the last oil change.
> Drink a cup of coffee.
> 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
> vehicle.
>
> Money spent:
> Oil Change $20.00
> Coffee $1.00
> Total $21.00
>
>
>
> Oil Change instructions for Men:
>
> Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
> filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
> $50.00.
> Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00,
> drive home.
> Open a beer and drink it.
> Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
> Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> Place drain pan under engine.
> Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> Give up and use crescent wrench.
> Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in
> process. Cuss.
> Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
> kitty litter on spilled oil.
> Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
> Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
> twist off.
> Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
> everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
> can to avoid environmental penalties.
> Drink a beer.
> Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
> change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
> Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
> full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in
> back yard instead of taking it to recycle
> Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
> Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
> Walk to liquor store; buy beer.
> Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
> surface.
> Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> Remember drain plug from step 11.
> Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along
> with drain plug.
> Drink beer.
> Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch
> of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
> lawnmower gas.
> Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
> litter on oil spill.
> Drink beer.
> Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
> used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening
> drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
> Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
> Begin cussing fit.
> Throw stupid crescent wrench.
> Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992)
> in the left boob.
> Beer.
> Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
> Beer.
> Beer.
> Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
> Beer.
> Lower car from jack stands.
> Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
> Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
> steps 23 - 43.
> Beer.
> Test drive car.
> Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
> Car gets impounded.
> Call loving wife, make bail.
> 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>
> Money spent:
> Parts $50.00
> DUI $2500.00
> Impound fee $75.00
> Bail $1500.00
> Beer $40.00
> Total $4165.00 -- But you know the job was done
> right!
My reply to her...
"The woman was the one who made the worst mistake, and brought it to Jiffy Lube...Everyone knows that Jiffy Lube is the worst place to take your car."
> Oil Change Instructions for Women & Men
>
>
>
> Oil Change instructions for Women:
>
> Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles (or
> thereabouts :-) since the last oil change.
> Drink a cup of coffee.
> 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
> vehicle.
>
> Money spent:
> Oil Change $20.00
> Coffee $1.00
> Total $21.00
>
>
>
> Oil Change instructions for Men:
>
> Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
> filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
> $50.00.
> Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00,
> drive home.
> Open a beer and drink it.
> Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
> Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
> In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
> Place drain pan under engine.
> Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
> Give up and use crescent wrench.
> Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in
> process. Cuss.
> Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
> kitty litter on spilled oil.
> Have another beer while watching oil drain.
> Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
> Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
> twist off.
> Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
> everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
> can to avoid environmental penalties.
> Drink a beer.
> Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
> change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
> Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
> full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in
> back yard instead of taking it to recycle
> Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
> Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
> Walk to liquor store; buy beer.
> Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
> surface.
> Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> Remember drain plug from step 11.
> Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
> Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along
> with drain plug.
> Drink beer.
> Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch
> of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
> lawnmower gas.
> Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
> litter on oil spill.
> Drink beer.
> Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
> used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening
> drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
> Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
> Begin cussing fit.
> Throw stupid crescent wrench.
> Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992)
> in the left boob.
> Beer.
> Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
> Beer.
> Beer.
> Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
> Beer.
> Lower car from jack stands.
> Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
> Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
> steps 23 - 43.
> Beer.
> Test drive car.
> Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
> Car gets impounded.
> Call loving wife, make bail.
> 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>
> Money spent:
> Parts $50.00
> DUI $2500.00
> Impound fee $75.00
> Bail $1500.00
> Beer $40.00
> Total $4165.00 -- But you know the job was done
> right!
My reply to her...
"The woman was the one who made the worst mistake, and brought it to Jiffy Lube...Everyone knows that Jiffy Lube is the worst place to take your car."
