Originally posted by FromTheBottom
ok i have read this whole thread...truly amazing shit on here. a lot of it saddens me but i feel like it's definitely helping me. thank you HAN, the OGs, the whole community for helping me out.
ok here goes...
1. i have lurked here mostly since i registered, but i spend more and more time in the basement. although i don't know any of you, reading your stories makes me happy, i'm just too shy or feel weird trying to chime in or whatnot because i don't know any of you personally. what it comes down to is that i spend more time on HAN than i do with my friends, who have become more and more distanced from me each day.
2. i'm a loner, always was, growing up as an only child. i haven't been happy since i was a little kid.
3. i've never had to deal with personal losses (besides grandparents) and definitely am my own worst enemy.
4. my parents have always supported me financially and mentally but all i want to do is run away from them. i don't live with them (i live at my college town) but they still support me and i don't want any more handouts. i would rather struggle to make it. i told my mom this the other night.
5. i got great SAT scores, got into a decent school, i'm doing mechanical engineering, the only thing that interests me as far as school goes, but i've always been on academic probation and hate school anyway.
6. getting dumped by my ex of 2 years who i had totally fallen for so she could f*ck a "cooler and more popular" kid has left me seriously depressed and lacking any confidence. while i am not cool, i consider myself smart and know that i will have a good future. getting dumped for someone like him (the exact opposite) has totally messed me up. i never had a problem getting girls and was always the dumper, but ever since i can't even approach a girl or anything.
7. school and girls have left me seriously depressed for a long time. all i cling to is my music (emo) that lets me escape it all. i spent most of my time alone.
i didnt know anyone on this board personally either, but i just started posting a lot and eventually met a few people. so dont feel any apprehension, everyone here is cool
it's weird how a lot of people were great students in high school, but somehow end up on academic probation. in college i didnt give a sh*t, and just did the bare minimum to pass. they were the worst years of my life.
i think it's great that you want to break away from your parents' support and become independent. that's a huge step in growing up and becoming an adult.