Here's one I just got

Ok, let me help you fix this problem
Wait, I don't have time right now and I am not infront of my PC

:eh:

Can you call us back when you do have time?
No, I don't want to call you back. I just want you to know that I can't get online and I can't get my email
Right, I apologize for the inconvenience. This is why we need to troubleshoot the problem
Ok, I can't get online and I can't get email
Right, so can we troubleshoot this problem right now?
No, and I don't want to call you back
Well, unfortunately I will be unable to assist you if you cannot access your PC. Please do call us when you have the time.
Thanks for nothing....

OK....so why the hell did you call if you are unwilling and unable to do anything? Do you think telling me the problem 3-4 times will help? No. It's like going to the mechanic without your car and expecting him to fix it.