I enjoy wine when I'm having a nice meal, but I don't know anything about it. I just ask the waiter what's good and try to pick something that's less than 50 bucks for a bottle.

If I wanna have a classy drink I have a martini. That'll get you more toasted than wine anyway.

My mom has a system for choosing wine: if it's expensive and has the name of someone in our family in the name ("Chateu Michel" for example) then it's good.